Hard phone call

I hate calling people on the phone. Correction....I hate calling people I do not know super, extra well on the phone. I am good with family and best friends. Can talk for hours on the phone with several of my best friends (and yes, I do have several, and it is possible to consider them all "best"). But if I have to call, say, Purolator to pick up a package, or a guest to see if they will be coming back to Chorus, or anything like that, I freeze up. My mind turns to oatmeal, and trying to accomplish the call is a real struggle to not look like a blithering idiot. Most times I fail miserably, stuttering or not making myself clear or forgetting important things or whatever.
Keeping that in mind, you will understand what a difficult time I had this morning. Add to my usual phone call woes the extra stress of...having to file a report with Child Protection Services. Something happened in my neighbourhood, and according to their website, if you do not report something, they can fine your butt right off your body, and put the rest of you in jail until you are moldy. So I did. It was hard, it was scary, it was humiliating to have such trouble making my report over the phone and trying to remember everything they needed to know. I think I finally managed to answer all the questions to their satisfaction, and I hope they do the best for the parties involved. And I hope I never, ever again have to make a phone call of that type. And not just because of my stress level. I'm not that shallow. I hope no child in my neighbourhood has to go through this anymore either.

NaNoWriMo, rainbow laces, and other such stuff

Okay, it's time for me to write in my blog again, not so much because anybody is really waiting for it, but more because my brain is getting backlogged with all the little split-second "gee, I should write in my blog about that" thoughts.
So here goes. This will be somewhat disjointed as, as well you can see in the title, I have thoughts on many different topics.
First of all...if you are in the something like 48% of Canadians who did NOT vote in the election on October 14th...SHAME ON YOU! I was embarrassed to call myself a Canadian, with all of you who have the right, the PRIVILEGE, the duty of making a decision for who should be in charge of running this country of ours. I voted. I knew I would not be in the province on the day of the election, so I made SURE that I presented myself at the advance polls, hopping along on my CRUTCHES with two children in tow! I know of one friend from high school who is doing missions in Niger who made the effort to have a ballot MAILED to her, so SHE could put in her vote. To all of you who did not vote...no complaining. At all. Not a single word, grumble, gripe, or whine. You chose not to vote, you chose to deal with the results. By choosing not to make a choice, you made a choice. Deal with it. Don't like it? Next time, vote, and get all your other friends to vote...THEN if you don't like the results, you can complain.
My ankle, by the way, is getting better...at a snail's pace, but better. As long as I have the brace on, I'm good. Can walk, run if necessary (Shhh...don't get on my case, Hubby...I said if necessary), and more or less ignore the ankle. Take off the brace and we're talking a pretty stiff ache going on.
Since I don't have a cast but rather this white brace with laces you could rope a steer with, I decided to spice it up a little bit, after 5 weeks of white. So I went to the dollar store. They had 4 pairs of rainbow laces for $1. To be precise, they had 4 pairs of laces for $1. The sets were all one design (with varying colours) of rainbow stripes, or dots, or hearts, or a hot pink on white checkered pattern, or camouflage. And being the person I am, I went straight for the rainbow ones. Took two full sets of laces (and could have used 2 1/2 sets if I wanted to have the exact length) to replace the long white one. Should be fun to go out in public. :)
Now as far as NaNoWriMo goes, another friend (Brad) and my Dad indirectly reminded me that this was coming up. This is what got my Dad (Robert Scott) into writing what became the draft of his first book of the three he's got either published or coming out thus far (Advertising Murder [out April 2007], Lost Youth [out September 2008], and Murder Express [coming Christmas Eve 2008]). I have been dabbling in writing for years now, since I started university, and made a ton of notes, and even started typing stuff up....and then started having kids, and things just got busy and it sat and sat and sat. Now, in the same spirit of my friend, I do not have time to write for 2-3 hours a day, but at the same time, I'd really like to get my story out of my notebook and onto paper. It's an autobiography in fiction form (as in, an autobiography told within a fictional setting)...if I can get it done, maybe I can get it published somewhere. Who knows?
Hubby has discovered that his health is not what it used to be...I guess I just cook too well. He has a bit of a beach ball and has discovered his job of mostly sitting at computer desks or behind the wheel of his van leaves him...well...breathless...after a simple walk in the wind. So he asked me today what I thought of an idea of his. I quit doing papers back in May because of the lack of sleep and the severe hatred of being out in the cold in the dead of winter. He has decided HE would like to do papers in the mornings, both for the exercise and for the extra $200 or whatever that he would get from doing a regular route...he stays up late anyway and doesn't mind the cold (I DID, after all, find him up in the NWT), so he'll be fine in the cold and will just switch his habits around a bit to go to bed at a decent hour and get up early instead. Guess who is going to be stuck with being his sub when he is sick, but hey...I guess I can handle doing one route, once in awhile. And the money will help us pay for Christmas and birthday gifts, and slowly beat off the debts, too. And if he keeps it up, he'll burn off the beach ball, get great leg muscles, and together we'll work on getting healthier and end up looking like supermodels. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, we'll get healthier and look better. Good enough.
There's probably another zillion thoughts back in my head somewhere, but they aren't coming yet. I think this is enough for now anyway. :)

Slowly but surely

I am recovering. It took a week on the couch, and about another week with crutches, but I am limping along now. My ankle will be firmly laced into my brace for another 6 weeks yet, but I'm getting there.
Now if I could just learn not to overdo things. The day I got up and didn't need my crutches (two days ago), I was off like a shot, trying to clean and shop and everything. I was back on one crutch by afternoon and on the couch by evening. Yesterday I just tried to do the flight of the bumblebee for cleaning....and was out of commission, but no crutches, by about 1PM. Today, again, roared around cleaning my kitchen and meandering the mall with Hubby while Son was in preschool...now I am in pain. A lot of pain. So I think I will take myself back to the couch for a bit, then make supper and take daughter off to Brownies, then relax. I was going to bake something, but I think I'll wait until tomorrow. I don't want to have to go back on the crutches.
Jogging on the WiiFit will have to wait. MOST things on the WiiFit will have to wait. First I guess I'll focus on going grocery shopping without coming home exhausted and in pain. That would be good.

Plans Derailed

My plan to train with my Wii Fit has been put on hold. Hopefully temporarily, possibly more long-term. I was stupid. I admit it. It's all my fault. But it still hurts.
I was jogging, as you know, an hour a night. I was giving it all I had, in an attempt to break my previous night's distances, as always. I was doing it, each night, in bare feet (shhhh....no telling me off)...on a hard floor (I said don't tell me off!). I got this pain in my ankle. Not a big one, kind of like when you feel you have to crack a joint and it's not quite going. So I ignored it. It was a bit worse the next day, maybe even over a few days, I'm not sure how long I was doing this to myself....I just jogged through the pain with the thought that whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. But then I woke up Tuesday morning. And tried to get out of bed. And discovered I was in a lot of pain. So I wrapped it in a tensor and parked myself in an armchair and took things mostly easy. By evening I was in terrible pain. Wednesday I started to get concerned. By the time I went to bed Wednesday night, I could barely walk. Thursday I broke down and went to see a doctor....possibly a stress fracture, but that won't show up on an xray for up to 4 weeks, so the real sympathetic doctor (yeah right) after manipulating my foot in ways that had me envisioning methods of recreating his face (You know, rip his toes off and shove them in his ears....), tells me to go home and wrap it in a tensor and come back in a week or more. By Thursday night, I could barely limp I was in so much pain.
So yesterday I went out and took matters into my own hands. I have a stiff ankle brace on that laces more than skates, and rented myself a set of crutches. Now I have sore muscles I never had met before. My ankle still hurts a lot, and is very glad of the crutches. By the end of the evening, having been off it, I thought it was better, and that maybe it wasn't a fracture after all...until I got stupid and tried leaving the crutches alone. Took maybe a few steps, and it all came back, with teeth. This is NOT muscular. This is a pain I've never had before, and I've had weak ankles all my life, so know what muscle injury is like.
Today I am trying not to be a hero. I want to try putting pressure on the foot. I shouldn't. I've already done it a couple of times and am already in a lot of pain. Have to suck it up and stay on the crutches. Hopefully in about a week I can go back and they will be able to see something, so I can get the right treatment and get better.
My forced leisure time has meant a lot of sit-down games, so I have played Mario Party 8, Pinball, and Super Mario World (Thanks to WiiPoints)...and hubby was nice enough to buy me Super Paper Mario, which i have yet to try, but will likely do tonight.
And it means the house has not been getting the cleaning it needs, which has been bugging me, though I have been doing what I can in the form of cooking, loading and unloading the dishwasher, doing a bit of laundry, and sorting through boxes of "stuff" from my bedroom closet. Hubby put it all into perspective...at least our house looks nowhere even remotely close to THIS:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24396021-5013110,00.html

And no matter how horrible I have been in the past with cleaning (because I was a total slob and am now reforming), it has never, EVER looked like that!

The Little Mommy That Couldn't

Once upon a time, there was a little Mommy....well...not so little, if truth be told, but a Mommy nonetheless. This Mommy had many things to do, and, being a good-hearted Mommy, set out to do all these things.
This Mommy needed to get her Daughter up and off to school, eat breakfast, dress, check herself on the Wii Fit, return library items, pick something up from someone's house, buy a few grocery items, go to the bank to set up a new bank account for her Son, make lunch, can pears, cook a pumpkin, make pumpkin seeds and pumpkin pie, get 3 rooms of the upstairs clean,encourage her Son to clean his room,make supper, go to a Board meeting, take the Dog to the park, do dishes, and laundry, too!
The Mommy got off to a rough start, being tired due to a family member having a whopper of a night terror, but headed into the morning with high expectations of accomplishment.
She did fairly well, accomplishing most of what she had wanted for the morning...Daughter was sent off to school, the Mommy had done all the personal stuff (ate, dressed, stood on the Wii Fit). Two of the three rooms did get tidied, the library item did get returned in time, the item to be picked up as acquired, the bank account was created, and the grocery items were purchased (plus a few extras because the Mommy did not have very good willpower).
But things started to go obviously wrong. The Mommy was tired. Her lipomas were hurting very badly, with even her shirt aggravating them. Her back muscles were seizing and aching from a very old injury. And yet the Mommy persevered. Lunch became totally non-nutritious, being onion rings and potato wedges on sale at the grocery store, and a cup of coffee (milk for the Son), but lunch was at least served. The pears were canned, but much of the work was done sitting in a chair, and even then, the back muscles were screaming, and because of the chair back, so were the lipomas. But still she kept at it and canned 6 pint jars of pears plus a quart jar of juice. A load of laundry made its way through the washer and into the dryer. The dishwasher got emptied, refilled, and started. A stew for supper was simmering in the crock pot, too, after much peeling and chopping of vegetables. Son's room was cleaned and there was much rejoicing. But the Mommy was so tired and in so much pain that she simply had to quit.
The Mommy was concerned that the Daddy would think her a lazy bum because he was going to come home and find her plushed out with pillows in an attempt to get some comfort somehow, reading a book. The pumpkin did not get slaughtered for seeds and pie, the Dog did not get a trip to the park. It was 2:45PM and she would still have her meeting later, which she would attend.
But to be quite honest, when she really thought about it and considered her options and pain level, she decided that she really didn't care what the Daddy thought anymore, all she cared about was feeling better. So she went off to have a nice hot cup of coffee and to find a comfy spot, in the hopes of feeling better tomorrow.
The End

Chuggin' Along

Well, I've been hopping onto my Wii Fit faithfully for the past few days...it's been going well, too. I upped my running time to 1 hour, and have been bopping and sweating along each evening, improving slightly each time. There is no way the distance counter is correct, as last night I apparently jogged 10.504 Miles in an hour, and as Husband pointed out, that's just not going to happen. But it does make me feel good to watch the numbers click off like that. Even if I'm not anywhere close to REALLY running that far, that fast, at least I know I'm getting to be better at it, and I am getting my 1 hour of body whipping cardio each night....that's gotta count for something! I know I'm trimming down a little bit, anyway....I was wearing this one pair of shorts that was a little loose, the elastic was gone, but they still hung on via my hips. I wore them as part of my outfit each night...and two nights ago, as I jogged, they fell off! [blush] Thankfully I was behind closed curtain in the privacy of my own home. And to be honest, it was really, really, really funny....and a good feeling to know I'd trimmed down a tiny bit so that could happen. Hopefully I can stick with this through the winter so more good things can happen. :)

A Challenge to myself

Okay. I have Wii Fit. A friend of mine thinks the Wii is a waste of time and space, that it should be avoided in trade for time outside. To a certain extent, I agree. But to another degree, while he is freezing his butt off in winter, trying to get a jog in, through the snow and ice, or traveling through same to get to an indoor track where he will have to fork out money, I will be in my nice warm living room, in PJs if I feel like it, doing my exercises and even jogging in place. I am much more motivated to do it if it means NOT going outside or to a different location....especially in the cold. Have I mentioned I hate to be cold?
My challenge is this...one of the options is called "free run", in which I choose how long I plan to run (10-20-30 minutes), and as I go, it tells me how far it thinks I have run. I do have a certain level of reality in this head of mine....I am pretty sure that the numbers it is spitting out are probably pretty optimistic....but there is no real way to test this for sure. What I am planning on doing is working with this option daily through the fall and winter, until late spring, at which time (roughly end of May) I will sign myself up for the Regina Fun Run that I did this past spring. The distance (5km or 10Km), I will decide closer to the time. I will run said Fun Run, and see how much time it actually takes, and how good of shape I am in while doing so. This past spring, I ran the course in something like 39'22" for the 5Km. My goal is to bring this down considerably. Or at least to run it in less than 30 minutes, less than an hour for the 10Km. As the fall/winter progresses, I will keep you all updated on how the Wii Fit running is going. Today it said I ran 4.571 MILES (roughly 7.4 Km) in 30 minutes. For argument's sake, let's say I ran 4.571 Km instead. That is probably more accurate, but the Wii Fit number looks nicer. :)

I love this time of year

Well....this time and on into the fall. I may not be a very good housewife, in terms of cleaning, but the one thing I can do is just that....CAN! I love this time of year because the crabapples are ready, and I can also get my mitts on some pretty cool produce.
Over the past two days, I have made 2 quarts of concentrated crabapple juice (that will make approximately 4-6 quarts when water is added to taste), 8 pints of applesauce, and 7 pints of crabapple jelly. I write in quarts and pints because that is how all my canning recipes go. If you want metric, which is how I usually run, that's 2 litres, 4-6 litres, 16 cups, and 14 cups.
That was made from approximately 28 cups of crabapples.
I managed, today, to purchase a case of peaches....54 fair sized ones for slightly less than $20. Sometime in the next few days, 42 of them will be turned into canned peaches. I am figuring on about 7 quarts (28 cups). I saved a dozen for just eating....3 each.
I have already this year made strawberry jam and saskatoon jam....we could probably live off of toast and jam at this point in time, as I also have, from last year or so, pumpkin jam....I had to dump out about 5 pints (10 cups) of pumpkin preserves because nobody was eating it, and quite honestly, I don't like it. The pumpkin JAM is yummy, though.
Once I get a new jug of vinegar, I will also be making pickled apples....now THOSE are yummy!!!! I first had those when I was a kid at either Ponderosa or Bonanza.
What I would really like is for someone to have a load of green tomatoes or even red tomatoes that they can't use, so I could make green tomato relish (with the green) or tomato butter (with the red). I looooooooove those with my meat or poultry! Yum!
Someday I will try making pickled onions again....they are amazing with homemade baked beans.
Now I'm making myself hungry! :)

One of those days

I'm just saying....
It's been one of those. The moment my eyes creaked open, it was already starting. The kids were in the bathroom, yelling at a new toy, to see if they could scare it (it's a robot). The cats were meowing to be fed, the dog was waiting anxiously to be let out and then fed. Neither child had decided to concern themselves with these needs.
I crawl out of bed and dispatch them from the bathroom with orders to feed kitties and relieve dog of her distress. Cats get fed, dog is left waiting....and waiting. Until I finally realize my orders have not been carried out. I creep onto the WiiFit board to find that it still considers me a large blob of lard, more so than yesterday. Get dressed while listening to the beautiful sound of children bickering and screaming at me. Up I come, instruct them to eat breakfast and get dressed. We have 30 minutes until we need to be in the car. 10 minutes later, daughter is still in pj's and unfed, son is fed but not dressed. I yell at daughter. 60seconds later, daughter is in her room, unfed, undressed (well...in pj's), and playing with robot. I yell. "I forgot", she says. I storm out, she finally eats and gets dressed. 5 minutes to departure, son is not dressed, and is screaming in tears that he does not want to. Husband storms in, grabs clothes, undresses and redresses son in about 60 seconds flat. Out to the car we go. Everyone buckled in, I start the car, no problem. Start to back out....car stalls. Restart car, and she starts this horrible screaming noise. Will not turn off. Can take key out, and she is still doing it. Try turning the key forward more, car goes into hyperdrive, as far as engine noise goes....the noise you'd hear if you had the car in park and pressed the gas all the way to the floor.....but I don;t have my foot on the gas. Try pressing the brake, jiggling the key, everything....just this horrid noise that has half the neighbourhood starting out their curtains, cursing whoever is disturbing their peaceful Sunday morning. Finally, in desperation, I throw her in drive. She goes RRRRCLUNK and is dead as a doornail. That was pretty much the last straw for me. I fling open the car door, storm up to the front door, and scream as loud as I can "THEREYOUGOSHE'SDEADABSOLUTELYDEADNOTASOUNDNOTHING
(gasp)TOTALLYUTTERLYDEAD!!!!" My husband goes "Oh? What happened?" So I tell him, still in a near-tears fury. I think I could have uprooted a tree with my bare hands, I was so upset and furious.
So once again Bessie is dead. This time for good. No more tow trucks, no more trying to get her fixed. Gonna clear her out and make her a Kidney Car. They can deal with it. In the meantime, I am carless....but hopefully something will be at the auto auction on Saturday (nearly a week from now s-i-g-h), and we can get it super cheap.
I wanted to crawl back into bed, but hubby told me to just take the van and go to church anyway. So I did, and it was relatively okay there....got a gift card for our anniversary from secret sister, and found daughters lost jacket....then got home to discover that, despite the numerous times I have expressed that I will not accept such things in my house, the games that hubby claims are "not THAT bad" are really Dungeons and Dragons games. 9 years I have made it abundantly clear that these are not to be in my house. Neverwinter Nights, Diablo, and apparently Ultima, since he says they are all alike. I am furious. And he seems not to get it. I think he figures that if he keeps quiet, I will either forget or "get over it". He does that about a lot of things. I won't forget, I am NOT going to get over it, and for this, I am now going to be considered a horrible wench. Tough. I cook, clean, take care of the kids, and do a multitude of other things, plus extra things he calls me up to do. I have the right to have a say about the filth that enters my house. I don't allow pornography, why the heck would I allow demonic things?

Too good to be true

Well, she lasted a day. Exactly 24 hours. Not a minute more. Husband just phoned to say Bessie does not start. Not a sound. Once again. And this time he is on the opposite end of town and I have no car to rescue him with, as his van is in getting tires replaced. She was a beautiful car, even despite the few rust spot, saggy wires, and grumbly disposition. But we just can't afford to keep fixing her. So for sale she goes, a mechanic special. Nuts. I am sorely disappointed. Hopefully we can find another nice, cheap rustbucket that will last a few more months at the auto auction. I can hope, anyway. If we look at it on a per month basis, we paid $125 a month for the use of Bessie (minus gas and oil)....good luck finding a car payment like that anywhere else!

The Death and Ressurrection of Bessie and Stuff

Okay, it has been exactly 29 days since I last posted, and once again a million and one things have happened in the meantime that I intended to post....and didn't.....and for the most part have forgotten what they were.
But...we had a gigantic storm here about a week and a half ago, while Daughter was away at camp. Roaring waves of rain, huge claps of thunder with blinding sheets of lightning, tons of forks, too, and a wind that had to be sen to be believed. I kept looking out to see if there was a funnel cloud coming because the wind was roaring so loud and had our tree bending so far that I seriously expected the trunk to snap and the tree to crush the van. When it stopped, it had snapped about 1/4 of the tree so that a ginormous branch was dangling just off the ground, the fence between our house and the next was bent over sideways, my canopy on the deck was a mess of fabric and poles, and Bessie (aka my 1984LTD) was dead. Not a sound would she make....well....after the shrieking sound the one time Hubby tried to start her. He asked around and got the part the so-called experts told him was the problem and did a do-it-yourself job....to no avail. She sat there, stone cold dead, for about a week. Then Hubby fixed the computer of a mechanic who agreed, in exchange, to take a look at her. So we called to tow truck and they hauled her away on Tuesday....and we drove her home yesterday. It was the starter that had gone. NOT the part we had been told. So now she runs again. For the time being anyway. :)

I went to my new family doctor today, having had the blood test I mentioned in the last post....everything was textbook perfect. It stunned him. He seriously was shocked that someone "my age" (great...I have reached "that age") would have perfect results, and I do mean perfect. Cholesterol and EVERYTHING. Next week I go back to prove that my blood pressure is good and to have the pap. Ew, ew, EW! Oh well.
So anyway, it looks as if, as usual, my overactive, somewhat hypochondriac brain was giving me a run for my money last post. Still have lipomas, but nothing more serious than that....and he wasn't even concerned about my weight! That, let me tell you, goes way beyond cool. He just said to keep eating healthy and exercise....more as an "I have to give her SOME sort of doctorly advice....but what?" :-D It was actually really funny to watch him stammer in shock and try to be professional when he realized I was perfectly healthy. Woo-hoo! :)

Hmmm....maybe he should have asked

I went back to the clinic today. It was the three month point, at which I was to return to have my cholesterol and iron retested. Or so I had thought. I showed up and was ushered into the little room....it's a walk-in clinic, if I haven't mentioned this before...doc bustles in and asks what he can do for me. I tell him I have simply come to get the piece of paper that say I need the tests. He reads my file and asks when I had my last physical exam. I tell him I'm not sure (it's been a really long time....probably about 3 1/2 years?). He turns slowly and asks "Don't you have a family doctor?". No. No I don't. You, sir, would be the one I have been seeing for the past 3 years. He looks at my file again, and says very steadily "You really NEED to have a family doctor, to do the full checkups, you know, the pap smears....the mammograms..." He shoves a paper into my hand of doctors that are possibly taking new patients and tells me to call one and see. He does give me the form, as well, to have the tests done. But what is on that sheet concerns me. Very much.
You see, I was just to have my cholesterol and iron tested. The paper I have to take to the blood lab tomorrow is asking for ALL the stuff they tested 3 months ago....when he told me after a 10 second glance that my lumps were lipomas and nothing more....and he's pushing me to get the family doctor, stressing the pap and mammogram....and over the last week or so my breasts and one armpit have been very sore....and no, it's not time for THAT, so the cause for the pain is unknown. So now I am wondering if he just told me it was lipoma, expecting me to tell my non-existent family doctor, who would then do a full check and maybe find that it was something more, and now because of that, the something more has had 3 months to grow?
So tomorrow morning, I go off to give many tubes of blood and a cup 'o' pee, then in the afternoon, I have made an appointment with my hopefully new family doctor, will tell him of the lipomas, sore areas, and pending test results, get him to schedule a FULL exam with all the works asap, and hopefully finally get the complete, no doubt about it full rundown of what the heck is the story with this body of mine, once and for all. Give it to me straight, doc, 'cuz I want to know!
And hopefully they won't take too long to tell me. My imagination works way too hard sometimes.

A Possible Gift

I took a gigantic leap out of my comfort zone last night. Anyone who has known me for any real extent of time knows that the mere idea of needles gives me the willies. But Husband did something long ago that came back surprisingly that got me thinking, and realizing maybe I should try to be a little more in-the-moment and hopefully end up helping somebody.
In around 1996, as far as he can remember, Husband signed up with OneMatch.com, through the Canadian Blood Services...he signed up, you see, as a potential bone marrow/stem cell donor. And time went by, and he pretty much forgot. Well, he got a phone call late last week. He is a potential match. Apparently the odds of ever being even a potential match are staggeringly low. Now he has a one in twelve chance of being a match. We now go through a rigorous testing relay (well....he does), and will know within the next two months if he is in fact going to be the donor. He's pretty staggered at the possibility of saving somebody's life. You can check out his thoughts and such on his blog, which is www.geldhart.blogspot.com
He asked if I would be willing to go in the registry (ie sign up), at which point I retreated into the farthest corner of the couch in terror and declared the re was no way I was going through all those needles and the potential of having someone drill into my leg bone, etc, etc, etc....but then I started thinking about it, and realized it was the right thing to do. So I signed up. Maybe nothing will ever come of it, but then, maybe I end up being the exact person someone has been waiting and hoping for and end up saving their life just in time. Despite all the pain and such it will put me through, I'm thinking tht will all pale in comparison to the knowledge that I'm saving somebody's life by getting a little (or a lot) uncomfortable.
I will keep you all posted if new developments arise and either his or my journey takes us through the next steps.
Please consider adding yourselves, too. WWW.ONEMATCH.COM

Just a wee bit of a difference!

A few months back, we attended a cleft palate clinic with our son, where he was run through a gamut of tests and specialist interviews. He has a submucous cleft which, while really cool to look at, causes him to have to work really hard to form certain sounds, and in some cases, to compensate for a simple inability to make said sounds. He was seeing a speech therapist for awhile, and his speech improved drastically as he learned compensating skills. But that stopped after the clinic, as we were told that he would have surgery sometime this summer. I guess his therapist figured it was no real use seeing her until after the surgery, as he will likely have to learn to talk again with the new mouth structure.
We were thrilled that he would be having the surgery, especially in that time frame, as that would give him time to recover and learn how to talk again before he hit elementary school (he will start kindergarten in 2009).
WELL....we received to official letter saying he was put on the waiting list as of May 29th yesterday. Oh, good, we thought, his surgery should be coming up soon, then. The letter came with a number to call to find out what wait time we were to expect. So I called it. Got the automated answering service, left all pertinent info it asked for...and waited. They called back this morning to let me know his wait time is approximately 15 to 18 MONTHS. We are not amused. I am very upset, because this means his surgery will not take place until he is IN kindergarten, which is going to make it harder for him to fit in, especially when he's going to have difficulty talking for who knows how long, plus he'd probably miss some school....in his first crack at French Immersion...and I may not even be around for his surgery, as I have that International competition in October 2009 (moved from November because it would have clashed with the Country Music Awards).
I wish they had let us know right up front that we were looking at that kind of wait instead of telling us this summer! I understand, to a certain extent, I mean, obviously, there are children whose cases are much more urgent than ours, cancer kids and such...I don't begrudge them that....I just wish they had said it would be a long wait to start with, as Son was very disappointed, too, having had the surgery talked up so that he was prepared for it this summer.
But hey, what can you do. Now we wait and I guess hope they are wrong and the surgery happens sometime while he is still in preschool.

YeeeeeeHAW!

I am just a little excited....along with about 32 of my counterparts...or chorus mates, if you want to be exact.
This spring at Regionals, we came in 1st place small chorus, 5th place overall (The region being all of BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, NWT, and Yukon). Our scores were fairly good, but we had to wait with bated breath....for the rest of the regions in the world to complete their contests and get their scores in. We finished 7th place small chorus in the world. The top 5 choruses get to go to Internationals on 2009. Based on this, we were pretty much stuck where we were....then the news came in...the top Regional small in the world could not compete as a small at Internationals, as they also won 1st place OVERALL in their region, so has to compete with the big choruses. That put us in 6th. No go, still.
Then...oh bliss....THEN the 2nd place Regional small in the world decided NOT to compete at Internationals! That, by default, put us in 5th place!!!!!!!!! And we are ONLY separated by 5 points from the top small chorus, so this will be a tight competition. Yes, people! Yes! Just what you have likely figured out by now....!
PRAIRIE GOLD CHORUS IS COMPETING IN THE SMALL CHORUS COMPETITION IN 2009 AT INTERNATIONALS!!!!! And where, you might ask, do we get to go?????
Nashville, baby! I have ALWAYS wanted o go to Nashville!!!!! Woo hoo! I am SO going to check out the Grand Ole Opry while there, and all the other stuff. I am SO excited!!!!!
And with us all being mere points apart, there is a good chance we COULD win!!!! We are going to be working our BUTTS off to get our package shiny and perfect and absolutely knock-your-socks-off fantastic and we are gonna GET THAT GOLD MEDAL! Woo!

On another mysterious note, I am trying something over the next couple of months that should be interesting and hopefully kind of fun....but I can't tell you about it until it's done. Hee hee. (And the one other person who knows about this had better not say a WORD!) :)

The Dream and the Reality

It has been awhile since I last posted, mostly out of sheer busy-ness.
I returned at the start of this week from a trip to Toronto to see some friends. That was the trip I mentioned a few months ago where I got 80% off the tickets through WestJet. It was a lot of fun....one friend I saw last year, but hadn't seen her kids for 3 years....the other friend i hadn't seen for 8 years, when I was pregnant with Daughter, so it was the first time for her meeting my kids, and the first time for me meeting hers.
It was a busy week to say the least, especially when you have 2 Moms and 4 kids....make that 5 when the neighbour boy showed up for an entire day. (My Hubby stayed home and her Hubby was at work and out doing other stuff)
While there, I got to try the Wii Fit. I fell in love with it, and hunted all over the city for it when I got home. Got my hands on one of the last 3 in the entire city. What a crazy race that was, to get across the city before it was snatched up. Nobody else in the city had any or knew when more were coming. Spent more on it than my friend (hers was $80, mine was $100 [plus tax])....but I love it. Everyone in the family has their own Mii on it now and even Hubby is working on losing some weight. It will take awhile for us both. If I lose a pound a week, based on my starting point on the Wii Fit, I have 46 weeks to go....but I'm having so much fun on it that I'm thinking the weight will come off faster than that.
I ran my 5km almost 2 weeks ago, in the rain, with a time of something like 38m22s. I was very happy with that score. Have battled a nasty cold and cough ever since, but hey, I ran the whole way just like I planned, and wasn't even stiff after....just super hungry. LOL.
I had another dream about that person again....and again it was one of those dreams that seems to make sense while you are in it, but upon waking up, leaves you going WHAT THE HECK?!!?!? I was in a living room somewhere and there were two swingsets there. The person is there, and is all dressed up in a dark blue suit. He sits on one swingset, I sit on the other. Someone is with me, but I don't know if it's one of my kids or Hubby or a friend. Person starts working on a laptop while on the swingset as I swing on mine. I feel grubby, so decide to go upstairs to change. None of the clothes I find seem to work. They have grease stains and such. I don't know why. I guess somehow I finally find something, because I find myself at the ATM in the hallway, with a friend from Toronto, taking out cash. I don't know why. I remember looking at the money and noticing the difference between the red of the $50 bill and the red of the $25 bill. LOL. Friend and I go back down the hallway and find ourselves in a classroom where Person is, still dressed impeccably in the dark blue suit and walking around the room. There is a teacher there, who is mad at us for being late, and I can't figure out if Person is helping him or a student. We have a many-page math test, with invisible staples, but everyone's package is different. I can't figure out how to do mine, which I find weird and frustrating, as it seems to be simple addition that we are being tested on. Again through it all, I find myself wanting to talk to Person and find out what is going on with him, and to make a good impression.
Of course, I think after that particular dream, if Person should suddenly show up somewhere, someday, dressed in that suit, I'd probably go stark raving mad from shock, trying to figure out if I was awake or dreaming, and if I was really awake, why on earth I would have dreamed about something that actually happened in the future (minus the weird dream components, of course, like the swingsets in a living room)

Well, at least there is a name for it

Over the past few months, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I have Lipoma. That, in itself, was not so bad, since, after all, it wasn't cancer. The little niggling problem I had was that a lot of what I read said that they weren't supposed to hurt, or that maybe one or two might hit a nerve once in awhile. The problem with this is that I have a few that are excruciatingly painful, and the others range from mild ache to kind of a burning sensation. And the severity changes. But never are they numb, so to speak. I joined a Lipoma forum, and introduced myself, describing what I was experiencing with mine. The moderator pointed me in the direction of some interesting websites, suggesting that I might have a very specific variation of Lipoma.
I have Dercum's Disease, Type III. Not a great outlook for my future, but at least I now know exactly what I have, what strain of Lipoma, I guess. In a way, it's a relief, because it explains a LOT of symptoms I have had. I wrote a very unhappy e-mail a few months ago, wishing the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. LOL
It's funny because you would think that I should be depressed about this....and I'm not. It's kind of a calm acceptance, and an "okay, where do we go from here?" sort of mentality. I could have them removed surgically, but that would also cause a lot of pain, and they could still come back, making the whole procedure pointless. That, and I don't do so well with anaesthetic or needles. They say losing weight won't reduce them or make them better, and can even make them worse.....but of course, I'm still going to keep on losing the weight, because the least I can do is make myself as healthy as possible, and feel better about myself and how I look. I guess I can use pain relievers when needed. It's funny (in a not-funny way) how fast this has come on and progressed.
But it isn't cancer. It won't kill me. I can learn to live with pain. And now I know what it is and can keep reading up on it and figuring out the best way to carry on for the future. :)

Happy Mother's Day?

It was not one of those Mother's Days that goes down in memories. Not really, unless you're the type to hold a grudge. I considered doing that, briefly, in my disappointment, but then, what really would be achieved by that?
A number of things contributed to my disappointing day...as we are on a very tight budget, it had already been expressed to me that I was not to expect gifts. While I understand that, I have to admit I had kind of hoped that he hadn't really meant that, that he would do SOMETHING. But no. He meant it. And to top it all off, the day before, I overheard him talking to Daughter....he had thought Mother's Day was on the 18th! So he was less than prepared to start with.
I guess I thought maybe he would try to plan something money-free for my Mother's Day, some special little things to be done or something. No. This is how my Mother's Day went....
I got up at the last possible moment to get ready for church, with hubby still in bed with no intention of getting up. No breakfast in bed from him, nor from the kids. Daughter brought out the plant of dirt with flower seeds in it and cards, all of which she had made at school or sparks or whatnot, and she, at least, had the foresight to make the plant from everyone. Got the kids ready and hauled them off to church where it started well, but ended with Son throwing tantrums all the way home, into the house, and into his room where he was sent, until he could calm down, once we finished our oh-so-fancy lunch of macaroni and cheese (boxed) and tinned beans with hacked up wieners. After lunch, Husband asked me what I wanted to do, I said I didn't know what we could do without money, and instead of his trying to come up with something, he put himself on the couch for a nap, despite having slept in that morning already.
We went for a walk with the dog to mail a letter, which I forgot to bring, so got a scathing look of frustration and a "Well! That's the whole reason we came on this walk in the FIRST place!".
Dog hurt her paw and ended up in a bandage and neck cone. Husband bought me a Slurpee. I made a strawberry crisp to do SOMETHING special for Mother's Day, to go with our chicken stir fry. And that was about it. Whoopee.
Next year had better be something amazing. I know you read this, so consider yourself fairly warned....MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Successes and side effects

I have been going to the gym as frequently as my (and Husband's) schedule has allowed, after papers each morning (which has been 106-109 a day for the past few days, and COLD....where is this spring?). I run for approximately 40-45 minutes, around the track. 23 laps jogging, 1 lap fast walking to essentially stop, since my body reaches a state of equilibrium where it thinks it should jog forever, whether I tell to to stop or not. I always run in lane 4. It's pretty much the absolute center. People who are walking are in lanes 1-3, lane 5 is a jogging lane also, and lane 6 is a running lane. There are days when even some of the walkers are faster than me jogging.....but at least these are the speed walkers, so I don't suck all THAT badly. Lane 4 is 220m long. That means I jog 5.06km a morning, which is good, as my 5Km fun run is in a mere 16 days.
I'm doing well. I plug myself into my iPod (which is an immense help by giving me a rousing, pulsing beat and also drowning out my breathing) and chug around the track, trying my best to ignore everybody else, and not feel too badly about the fact that everybody seems to be in so much better shape than I and for the most part are all faster than me. After all, the main point of this is to get healthier and also to achieve the execution of an actual 5KM run, which is something I have never even signed up for before, let alone actually DONE it.
And to a certain extent, I am reaching milestones and successes. It used to be that 3KM would take me an hour. The fact that I am doing 5km in 45 minutes is a major achievement. My strides are lengthening and starting to get out of the chug-chug-chug look and more into the I-can-run-like-a-normal-human look. I know because half of the days I go, the direction I have to jog has me running 1/4 of the track facing a huge wall of mirrors. The other half of the days, I am directed to run the other way, so that I am running AWAY from the mirrors and would have to make a conscious effort and turn my head sideways to look as I passed them.
I feel better, too. I don't finish feeling like I'm going to have an asthma attack, though I still sweat like a pig when I am done and changing. I am getting the runner's high during my run, too, where I feel like smiling during some laps. I get second winds and don't feel like I'm absolutely going to die if I push on through the wall. I don't get all stiff and sore anymore....any signs of that last only a few hours at most.
I like to think I look better, too. I actually looked at myself in the changeroom mirror today (no, nothing gross, AFTER I was changed, get your minds out of the gutter)....and thought "wow....I really look pretty today!" This, for me, if you know anything about my background, is huge.
Then came the side effects. I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh-in. I gained 4 pounds. 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks combined. What the hey? I've been eating well, working hard on getting that cholesterol level down....this had better be muscle and water! What a let down THAT was!
The other side effect is that I am SURE I have lost some fat off my arms....they are a little more...uh...floppy. Not nice. And also because of the reduced fat content of my arms, I am discovering new lipomas. I really am becoming lumpy.....or have been lumpy but only now have been in a state where they were find-able. At least they are not visible to others, and are just lipomas, not cancerous. I've read up on my condition and apparently some people get hundreds. I am not at that stage, thankfully.
So on I press, in the hopes of good health, good looks, and the achievement of the 5KM run on May 25th. Oh yes, and in the relief of a good night's sleep that will come with my finally quitting papers after delivery on May 27. Yay.

I've been Tagged AGAIN!

A friend of mine has recently written a blog about 7 weird things about her, and I have been tagged to do the same because I opened my big mouth once to say I'd never been tagged for it. So now I have to figure out what is so weird about me. Hmm. Here goes...

1) I have lived in 25 different houses or apartments in 10 towns, villages, or cities, in 5 provinces and 1 Territory

2) I can wiggle my ears

3) Coffee makes me mellow, instead of jittery

4) I love having the bottoms of my feet tickled

5) I am petrified of calling people on the phone other than best friends and Husband

6) When I was pregnant, not only did I like pickles and ice cream, but tried to explain to Husband WHICH pickles you should eat with WHICH ice cream. (For example, dill goes with chocolate, bread and butter pickles go with strawberry....)

7) I am insanely obsessed with keeping in touch with friends and do not understand why I seem to be the only one who will automatically try planning a get together any time I am in somebody's neighbourhood, or to actually GO on trips to visit people. Come on people! VISIT MY NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!!!!!! (I mean those of you living outside my city, though anybody nearby reading this [who I know] can call me and we'll do coffee, for sure)

Okay...now I tag....ummmmm....BRAD! KENDRA! Everybody ELSE! :)

I've been tagged!

Okay. A friend of mine who also writes a blog (and on a much more cerebral level than I), has decided to do this meme, I believe he called it...a Reading meme. http://blog.8r4d.com/2008/04/28/tag-meme-read
I will fill in what was asked of me, then try to think of who I can tag next.

1. Pick up the nearest book.
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis....a new acquisition that I have yet to read

2. Open to page 123.
End of the chapter called "Faith"....how appropriate.

3. Find the fifth sentence.
This is harder than it seems, as C.S Lewis puts periods in the middle of sentences...so based on grammar rules alone, I guess it would be:
The first result of real Christianity is to blow that idea into bits.

4. Post the next three sentences.
When they find it blown into bits, some people think this means that Christianity is a failure and give up. They seem to imagine that God is very simple-minded. In fact, of course, He knows all about this.

5. Tag five people.
Greetings friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you have the power inside you right now. So use it! Send one dollar to me. Don’t Delay, Eternal Happiness is only a dollar away!

Or you could take five minutes and post. Let’s see… I tag:
1. Carrien: so she will have an excuse to sit and relax and read a book for a few minutes
2. Lloyd: so I can find out what strange book he has picked up now
3. Kendra: because I think she needs to sit and read for a few minutes to get away from the craziness of her 4? daughters. :)
4. Ken: because I want to know what strange things HE reads these days
5. Angela: Because I know, just KNOW she is into a new romance book

What??? No blogs, some of you? Better get started! Orrrrrrr send it to me in an e-mail. :-D

Remember to link back to this entry to get credit for the post.

On a separate note, I am back at the track, jogging my little heart out. My 5k is in about 26 days from now. A friend of mine was explaining how in his running clinic, he was told they were supposed to run for 10, walk for 10, and so on....I have found however that this does not work for me. I try that and it looks more like this: Run for 10 minutes, walk for 10 minutes, try to run, smash headfirst into runners wall after 10 seconds, spend next 30 minutes trying to breathe as if asthmatic. So I have decided, right or not, to just go ahead and jog the 5.06km on the track (aka 23 times around the #4 lane) without walking until the 24th lap. Then go home. So far so good. :-D I FEEL good.
Hopefully the feeling will stay over the next few weeks as I train.
And I will be quitting papers as of the 27th of May (that will be my last day)...what a nice feeling to know I will actually get more than 3 1/2 to 6 hours of sleep each night....23 more deliveries. Yay.

It is Time...

It has been awhile since I last posted, and it seems interesting that this post is all about change, good and potentially bad.
First of all, on the family front, Son had his day at the Cleft Palate clinic. He showed me the cute teddy bear they gave him as a prize for being so good as he did the rounds of speech therapist, audiologist, orno-naso-rhinologist (or whatever an ear-nose-throat guy is called), plastic surgeon, orthodontist, videographer, and so on. I had to leave before he received the bear, for a reason I will mention in a moment.
Anyway....Son came through with a clean bill of health from pretty much everyone. The plastic surgeon confirmed he does, in fact, have a submucous cleft, which they tried very hard to record on video, as he was so cooperative with demonstrating the tenting at the roof of his mouth. He is on the list for surgery sometime in the summer. He has been working so hard on his talking that the improvement is staggering, but he is compensating for the letter sounds that he cannot make normally due to the cleft, and the surgeon says it will make his life so much easier to go ahead with the surgery so he won't have to be constantly fighting with his own mouth and throat to make sounds the rest of us do unconsciously. We are extremely happy to sign the papers for the surgery....we've waited nearly 4 years for this, through doctors who missed it through sloppy, lazy practices when specifically asked to check for this, specialists who would rather have him come back again and again than actually treat the problem, and of course, waiting lists once we finally found a way into the system to get him treated.
On top of this, he recently got glasses. Poor guy was going blind at the end of each day. He kept telling us at supper that he couldn't see. Little did we realize how true it was! He has to wear his glasses all the time, which is a big adjustment for a 3 1/2 year old. He is extremely far sighted with one eye much weaker than the other. His eyes were working so hard to see and to compensate for the weakness that by the end of the day they were so strained and tired that they essentially were quitting on him and he was going practically blind in the evenings. He is at half strength now because the full prescription would be too much of a shock all at once. So he has these ones for 6 months, then they will reevaluate his sight and likely bump it up to full power. He;s really cute in glasses....here's a picture....he looks miserable because it took 6 tries to get the shot and he was tired of posing.

I have no idea how to flip it if it is sideways, so tilt your head. :)
Also in his little life, the second of his tubes finally came out of his ears, so in about a week, he should be able to take swimming lessons for the first time ever.

Now in other news, the reason I had to leave the cleft palate clinic early was that I had to catch a plane. Originally, I wasn't going to be at the clinic at all....I was booked on a flight to Vancouver on Thursday at 9:50AM. I arrived, checked in with 11 of my chorus mates, and we sat and waited for our plane that we were told was delayed by 30 minutes. About 30 minutes before we were scheduled to leave, we found out our flight was, in fact, cancelled. So we went hunting for our checked luggage and returned to the counter to get another flight. We were then booked on a flight Thursday at 1:50PM. Again, delayed 30 minutes, then cancelled 3 minutes before supposed takeoff. Snowstorm in Calgary, apparently. Again we get our checked luggage and back in line. New tickets? FRIDAY at 1:50PM! So I phoned Husband and got a ride home until the next day. I was NOT happy, especially since other chorus members who only SHOWED UP mid-afternoon Thursday got flights leaving that evening or early the next morning, getting their flights AFTER we got ours. Because we left for Vancouver 28 hours later than scheduled, we missed a LOT of the weekend...I missed hanging out with a friend for Thursday afternoon and evening (we did get together for a food court supper on Friday), I missed First Nite and a chance to shop, I missed the Mass Sing and the education class, and by the time I got there, I was just too tired and stressed to go watch the Quartet competition. Saturday was a blur....up, breakfast, mental prep, run-thru, makeup and costumes on, compete, eat pizza, change costumes, do the Show of Champions, change, check out Afterglow, crash into bed. Up Sunday morning and onto the plane to meet with Husband, Son, and Daughter to go see the Wiggles, then a 3 hour drive home.
We came in First Place Small Chorus and Fifth Place Overall (out of 18)....but our chorus is falling apart, drastically. There may not be a chorus by this time next year because so many people are leaving and a lot of the people still here are a part of the problem....if you have ever read the blurb on Somebody, Everybody, Anybody, and Nobody, then you will know what I mean when I say that this is our chorus. I am so desperate that I am essentially changing who I am, and instead of being the meek, quiet observer, I am claws out ready to fight mad, and enough so to try to run for president of the chorus. My chances are slim, but if it happens, I would have the means to DO something to turn this thing around....and if I don't get to be President, you'd better believe I'm going to be the squeaky wheel. People are going to hear some truths they don't want to hear, and they are going to find that just agreeing with me isn't enough.....they are going to have to get up off their butts and show that they really care about this chorus. Growf!

An interesting time of it

For the past 6 months or so, I have watched my body fall apart in different ways, but none so scary as the one that started back then and hit its peak today. You see, I had lumps. One on the underside of my right upper arm, and one on my left side. Very sore ones at that. I thought briefly of having them checked out, but with my aversion to going to the doctor, decided I would not. In my experience, the second I walk in, my symptoms disappear like clouds and the doctor finds nothing wrong, most of the time.
So I left them. Sort of. I kept feeling them a lot, so couldn't really say if they were growing or not, kind of like you don't always notice how big your kids are getting or how long your hair is getting until it kind of hits you in a bang. I don't think they grew much, but at the same time, they did grow some....and then last night, quite by accident, I discovered I had acquired 3 more on my back. I had Hubby check them out, and he was quite concerned. Me being the worrier that I am, I was on the computer, researching what I could on lumps.
Today I waited for a chance to head off to the doctor alone...this was not the sort of conversation I wanted to scare my kids with, since, as I'm sure you can imagine, cancer was uppermost in my thoughts, especially with my family history. I wrote a few e-mails, asking for prayers and thoughts, called one friend, and when the time arose, I headed off after bursting into tears on hubby' shoulder. I was terrified of what I was going to find out, and Hubby was looking pretty scared, too.
Luckily for us both, the wait was no more than 5 minutes. And the consultation was maybe 5 more. He looked at them (easily, I might add, as Hubby had thoughtfully circled them with an orange Sharpie), felt them, then told me it was Lipoma, and he was going to send me for tests for my fat and cholesterol levels. I looked up the word when I got home, and discovered that Lipoma is basically benign fatty tumours. Better than cancer, but still not great news. I looked at the sheet I have to take to the lab tomorrow, and he is covering all his bases....I'm having tests done for my liver, kidneys, urine, blood, cholesterol....pretty much you-name-it. Which is good. This way I know that when the results are in, we will know for sure that he was correct, and that these suckers are benign.
I texted Hubby right away, and both of us were very relieved. Benign we can deal with.
Now I guess we have a very definite reason to be careful about how much fat we are eating, aside from the weight-loss and general health aspect. I have joined a lipoma forum, and we shall go from here.
And hey, it's not cancer.

It's Done.....and It Was Fun

My parents came down this past week. They are, as I mentioned in previous posts, making plans to move to our fair province, so as to be closer to the grandchildren, and I suppose to their kids as well.
They flew in on Monday night, and we hustled off to the airport to pick them up....myself, Daughter in her pink jammies with the feet and penguins all over them, and Son in his Cars jammies, as it was past heir bedtimes, but I knew there was no chance of them going to sleep before my parents arrived anyway.
Tuesday brought a day of travel and some disappointment....we spent the day looking at houses in Moose Jaw and Caronport, but none of the houses were right....some were in not so great looking neighbourhoods, some were really small, some had damage caused by water, shifting, that sort of thing....nothing struck their fancy.
Wednesday, we drove the 45 minutes to Moose Jaw again, to meet with the real estate agent, who took us down to Assiniboia. Wow. That's what I say. Wow. We looked at 3 houses. The last one was a definite no. It was a smoking house, and the people were home and smoking while we were looking. Ick, ick, ick. The hallways were narrow, the stairs down to the finished basement were downright deadly....not good. The second house we looked at was massive. It had an upstairs, a main level, and a basement, all finished and full of rooms. I believe, if memory serves me, the top level had 3 bedrooms and a bath. The main had a living room, a huge sunken den,a bathroom, a kitchen, and a dining room, plus a very large entryway and a door leading to a double garage. The basement had a huge family room, an office, a gigantic furnace room, a huge cold storage room, and another room of some sort, plus various closets and such. Too big for their liking and no real yard....not good when you have a big dog. But the first one. Wow. It's an older house, an estate sale, actually. Very well kept house. Nice, quiet street. You walk in the front door to the main level. On the main level is a living room, dining room, kitchen, 3 bedrooms, a bath, and a mud room/laundry room with a door leading out to a HUGE fenced yard with a shed. There are tons of closets everywhere. On the main floor alone, I believe there are 3 or 4 closets for coats, linens, general storage, plus each bedroom has a closet. Downstairs I can't remember completely, but it has a family room, den, bar, cedar closet, tons and tons and tons of storage closets (under the stairs, along the walls, etc)....it's the house they bought. For about $125,000. And the village itself is beautiful. It's got that old-time, community feel, plus it's got every amenity imagineable, a railway line running past it, and it's just....perfect. I want to retire there someday!
Thursday was a relaxed day, as their house was sold, they'd bought a new house....we could just veg and do a bit of in-town shopping.
Friday was the Good Friday service with all the churches in the city. It was good....except the 2 sermons part. One would have been sufficient, especially with kids in the audience. We then went out for lunch at a really nice buffet place, drove off to look at Dog River (AKA Rouleau), and vowed to come back in the summer when they are actually filming so the Corner Gas sign and the Ruby will be up and open for pictures. Then we came home to make homemade pizza.
I had to get up really early this morning....3AM to be exact....to get them off to the airport. They will be back in June, to move in. I think I will go back to bed now (it's about 4:30AM)
Oh! Did I tell you about Bessie? I'll check my blog later to see, and if I haven't, I will have to include that in a future post. I'm too tired to do it right now.

Ohhhhhhhh Dear!

Well, here I sit in front of the computer....wondering where, exactly, my brain has gone.
I ran my 5.06km at the track yesterday....and had a rough night as my muscles complained about my having done so. I creaked my way out of bed and did my papers and decided I had better go to the track again, so I don't start putting it off and end up unprepared for May 25.
So I went. And I ran. I figured if I just got going the muscles would feel better, stop hurting so much. I ran the full 5.06Km. Again. And then I came home, got daughter off to school, and sat to do my e-mail and all the rest. And now I cannot move. I hurt so bad you can almost HEAR the muscles screaming each time I try to budge. And I can't afford to just stay here in this chair....I have a house to clean, top to bottom. I have less than a week to do so, and don't know how much help I'm going to get. Not fun.

On a really cool note, though, I am now the proud owner of a 1984 Ford LTD midsize. It will take some getting used to, as I have been somewhat spoiled by modern cars. I now have to remember to do things other cars today do on their own. Bessie doesn't even have a fuel injector. She's big, she's got some rust, but she runs. And she only cost $500. Now I have to figure out how to get the kids in safely....the back only has lap belts (and I've heard that the ones with shoulder straps are better), and I phoned around....nobody will even TRY to put a car seat anchor in! Luckily, Son is nearly big enough for a booster seat, and daughter is nearly big enough to forego a child seat altogether, so hopefully that will do. That and a little prayer. Maybe I'll see if I can buy my own anchor and get a drill that can go through metal.

Everything is going to be AAAAAALLLL right....

Anyone who has watched Dragon's Den knows what that came from....and by the way I don't thing it was such a good idea either. Cute, but not a big selling idea.
Anyway...I recently got very health minded and decided I was going to push myself to do something fantastic...
So i signed myself up for a 5k at the end of May. This was very quickly followed by a deep sense of what the HECK have I DONE??? I haven't run for months, and just recently discovered my Leisure pass is still valid for another week.
I decided that, since I'm signed up for this thing, and have paid for it, I'd better get my butt in gear and train for this sucker.
I went to the indoor track this morning, and plunked my chunky self in a lane for joggers. 220 metres per lap on this one. So I started jogging along. I am a very slow jogger. I felt like the little old lady toodling along the road in her car, ticking everybody off by going about 20kph. The seasoned runners were bopping by, weaving from lane to lane, passing me, looking all cool and collected. But I kept at it, and kept at it, and *gasp, wheeze* kept at it....and to my own credit and pride, managed to jog 5.06 km this morning without stopping or walking....took me a little over 40 minutes. My hope is to get my time down to maybe....30 minutes? I think that's a reasonable goal for this year's run.
At least I now know for sure that I am capable of surviving the run without keeling over. This is a very good thing.

Westjet ROCKS!

I just remembered one of the things I wanted to blog about.
I get to fly three times, count 'em THREE times this year. I love to fly. I especially love the taking off and landing parts...that feeling is so cool.
Anyway. Westjet will be taking me all three times.
The first time will be in early April. That will be for Regional competition in Surrey (BC). I got that one on a 40% off sale, which was really cool. To top it off, our plans changed slightly, as we are taking the kids to see the Wiggles on the day I was scheduled to return home....but the show we are going to is a 2 1/2 hour drive from here, and I'd never make it in time. So I phoned them up, and the very nice lady looked into it for me, and got me an open ended flight....Regina to Surrey, then Surrey to Saskatoon. And the cost to change the flight? $21. You see, it costs $40 to change a flight, but the return trip to Saskatoon was $19 cheaper than the original return flight to Regina. Yay.
The second time will be at the end of May. This is the most amazing one. Regina to Toronto (and back)....one day sale....80% off. You heard me....80% off. $39 one way plus taxes, etc... I am going and taking my two kids with me (and kids pay full fare to fly....no more kid rates).....total cost for three return tickets? About $530. Total, not each. Total. My ticket for my first flight, just for me, was close to that amount! That will be so much fun....I get to visit a friend who has two kids only 7 months apart in age from my kids (I had one in January, she had one in August.....then SHE had one in January, and I had one in August), and hopefully will get to see a friend that I have not seen since summer of 2000. And we will get to meet each other's kids.
The third time is one we have been planning for and saving for for a little over 2 years now....Grey Cup in Montreal. Husband is going to Grey Cup, and the kids and I are going shopping, sight seeing, and visiting around my old Alma Mater. I love Montreal. Always have, always will, and want my kids to share that love, too. That one will be covered entirely by airmiles. Woo hoo!
So all in all, it's going to be a very fun year, doing more traveling than I have done in a very, very, VERY long time! Yaaaaaaaay! :)
Oh, and just for the record....Air Canada sucks.

Morning Has Broken

Finally! Same as last year, I know....but you have to understand that when you work a job like mine, winter is a very long, dark place.
So there I was, walking along, finishing my second route of the morning, when I happened to glance at the horizon. There it was, that glorious lightening strip in the sky, the one I had been waiting months for. If that had not brought a smile to my face, I would have to be stark raving mad. I live for sunshine. The fact that sunshine was on its way was a very, very good thing.
It has been awhile since I have written....I have had many topics buzzing through my brain, but somehow never quite got around to sitting down to type them out. And now i have forgotten what they were. Hopefully over the next little while, I will remember what the important ones were.
I am finally coming out of my shell somewhat. I hate speaking up in public. Hate it. Scares the living daylights out of me. I have this huge complex that has me convinced that if I say what is on my mind, I will look like an idiot, get shot down, not be able to argue my point, have people hate me, lose friends, etc, etc, etc. Trust me, that is enough to make me literally start shaking just THINKING about what I want to say, and it takes monumental strength for me to actually open my mouth and SAY what needs to be said....but I agreed last year to be on the Board for my chorus. That meant that this weekend past, I got to go on the leadership retreat. It was a lot of fun, and an amazing place with deer and birds and squirrels just outside the lodge windows and all, and very peaceful and quiet. But while we were there, we had to plan out the next year. And one of the things that came up was that the focus in chorus was gone, the people were not doing their "job".
It had to be said. It really had to be said, and nobody was saying it. I meekly put up my hand....
-Can I say something?
-Sure
-Well, one thing that's really bothering me is that everyone has been trying to make everybody happy, to keep members from leaving. The problem is that nobody is being kept accountable. When I joined, it was made very clear to me that this was a competing, performing chorus. To be a part of it, I had to do the work. If I didn't like it, I shouldn't have joined the chorus. Now we are telling people that they don't have to compete, they don't need to perform....if we are saying this sort of thing, NO WONDER people aren't learning their music and such like they are supposed to....if they don't intend to compete or perform, why would they? They are getting the impression that it's not important. Our sound has suffered, our music has suffered, we used to win first place all the time, now we don't, and we go in with an attitude that we aren't going to win. We used to go in believing we were the best, and we won....every time! Then we suddenly were told we were expecting too much, we were suddenly told we could only expect to reach certain levels, and now we go in with an attitude of "Well, we'll TRY, but we probably won't win"....and then we DON'T. Even if we can't win, we have a much better chance of getting CLOSE if we BELIEVE it! There are so many people who have done amazing things, simply because nobody told them it was supposedly impossible.

Now let me tell you. I said this to an audience of 10 people. I thought I was going to die right there and then, I was shaking so badly, my heart was pounding, and I was dizzy with fright.
The result? It opened up discussion like nothing you would believe! They were totally agreeing with me, saw that I was right, and we started off on a plan to get the chorus back to what it was supposed to be.

We went to rehearsal on Tuesday night,and the team started recapping for the rest of the chorus just exactly what we had done with our weekend. Problem was, everybody was skirting the issue, nobody was saying what needed to be said when we were telling them what e had gotten out of the weekend. I was wriggling in my seat, I was so uncomfortable, just mentally BEGGING for someone to say it. Finally, at the last moment, when I knew it was going to be me or nobody, I meekly put up my hand...

-The thing I got most out of the weekend was that we reaffirmed what this chorus is really about. We made it clear that we all agree that this is a COMPETING, PERFORMING chorus, and that this is still our MAIN FOCUS as Prairie Gold.

It was so funny. You could have heard my heart pounding in the slight pause of shock...I had spoken up in front of about 30 people. Me. The one who NEVER speaks up. The director started to applaud, but quickly stopped....because I had said what HAD to be said, and she had wanted it said....it was a really nice feeling to know she was so proud of me for having spoken up. So I mentally thought to myself "Ha! So there!" Why? I dunno. It just fit the way I was feeling.
I still don't think they got it. I still don't think the message got across half as strongly as it needs to. But it will. In time, it will. Maybe if I keep speaking up once in awhile, the rest of the board will get on it, to, and make the other members understand...this chorus has a focus on three things....competition, performance, and education. If you want to be in the chorus, you need to learn your music, you need to perform to the absolute best of your ability, you need to constantly be learning more of the music, practicing it until it reaches absolute excellence, you need to perform, to sharpen your skill, and to give it everything you have so that when we go to competition, we are bringing home those gold medals, the high scores, the knowledge that no matter what the outcome, there is no way any member on those risers could have given even one more molecule.
If you are not there to further these goals, if you are not in agreement with where the chorus is headed, then this chorus is not the place for you. We cannot make everyone happy all the time. We have loads of fun, and we love each other like a family AND like best friends....but we work HARD and it's not fair to hold other members back if you aren't 100% committed to excellence in competition and performance. We may lose some members. And we will be sad to see them go....but at the same time, we need to stay true to the whole foundation of the Sweet Adelines International. We are not a glee club, we are not just for fun. It even states in the international bylaws that we MUST compete.
And come on! If we win the gold at Regionals this year, we get to go to NASHVILLE for Internationals next year!!!!!!!! I SOOOOOO want to go to Nashville!!!!!!!!!
Anyway....I'm getting really cold, sitting in my drafty office. Time for coffee, and then major house cleaning. 11 days until my parents arrive!

Finally some answers!

Son went to the speech therapist today. We had waited 5 months for this appointment. His preschool teacher had asked us to have him referred, back in the fall, because he had a relatively large speech impediment....his speech was mostly limited to vowels, with nearly every word starting with M or N, whether it needed one or not. He was frustrated, we were frustrated, his teachers were frustrated, and the other kids wanted nothing to do with him, because nobody could understand him. I could, mostly, but even I had a hard time sometimes, and it led to a lot of crying and temper tantrums. I can only imagine how hard it must be to try so hard to get your thoughts across, and have nobody understand, to have people look at you and go "Oh, that's nice", in that "I don't understand you, so I'll smile and nod" sort of way.
He had his hearing tested last week, and he has perfect hearing, which was a relief....after all those ear infections in his first 8 months, before they did the surgery to put the tubes in, there was the fear that he would have some hearing loss.
Anyway, as I said, we went today, and met with the nice lady, who had him playing with toys and helping her read a story, so she could listen to his speech. First of all, she was extremely impressed with his huge vocabulary and sentence structures (he's 3 1/2)...but she noticed he could not say any of the back-of-the-mouth sounds like hard C and G, and that when he tried to say any of those words, he was compensating by scrunching up his nose really tight, in an effort to keep the air from coming out his nose. She looked at his split uvula and wrote her notes.
He got a V-tech computer for Christmas, which made a HUGE difference for him, as there is this little monkey that talks on it, and one of the activities is dealing with the sound of letters...."The S makes the sound SSSSSSS"....that sort of thing, so of course we have had nearly 2 months of him announcing to us what sound each letter makes....which has increased his letter sound capacity drastically....all but those hard C and G and that area of the mouth type sounds.
The answer we got was this....she suspects he has what is called a sub-mucal cleft...essentially a cleft of the muscles in the soft palate, as far as I can figure. This would make perfect sense, based on the fact that Husband was born with a cleft palate which required surgery at age 1 or 2. He will see one of the experts somewhere in the next 2 months who will check and confirm this. If he does indeed have this, they can do surgery which will correct it, and allow him (obviously with therapy) to talk properly and make those pesky, elusive sounds. In the meantime, he will go back to the therapist about once a week to play games which will help him to work on those sounds, in the event that it is not a sub-mucal cleft, so that maybe he will learn techniques to help himself say those needed sounds.
Finally some definite answers, some definite solutions, and we are officially in the system, so everything will get done without waiting so long now. It's been a good day.

Stacking dolls

You know the kind I mean....they used to have a little clip on Sesame Street even, where these dolls undid, danced around, then went together again. One big doll opens, a smaller one is inside. Open that one, a smaller one yet inside, and so on until one teeny one emerges.
That would be the experience I had today when my new computer arrived. After the catastrophic death of my old PC, where it took all my files with it, thanks to a short in the system that made the backup blank, we ended up ordering a Mac Mini. It arrived today in a box about the size of a Vancouver phone book. So we opened it.....to find....A BOX! So we opened it to find.....A BOX! I was laughing by that point. So we opened the box....and inside was a bunch of packaging material, and my new, itty bitty computer. It's really cute...not much bigger than a small, square lunchbox that would only hold a sandwich with a tiny bit of room to spare (as in, no drink or anything else).
The fact that I am writing this is evidence that it works (yay)...and hopefully nothing will go wrong, because, after all, I was super, extra lucky that my novel-in-progress was also on Writing.com, not just on my hard drive, and I'd hate to have to go retrieve it from there again and again, plus all my bookmarks and other stuff.....it's bad enough all my other files are gone.
We had a bunch of snow the other day, which I got shoveled off the driveway and walk....just in time for it to snow again today. That should make papers fun tomorrow....heavy papers and a pile of unshoveled walks. Oh joy. But at least this should hopefully be my last winter of doing this. Now off to bed.

Dreams and Such

I am sick again. A cold now. The kind that makes you sniffle and snuffle, cough and blow, and sucks every molecule of energy out of your body. But that's okay. I called in sick to work this morning, because I just couldn't muster the energy or willpower to haul those heavy bundles around for 2 1/2 hours in -51C windchill. I got up, I got dressed, I drove over there....but just couldn't do it, I was out of energy, feeling like dirt, and very cold. So I read my bundle toppers at each drop to make sure I had all the info, and called in sick (and yes, I did tell them that I was up and out and had changed my mind).
So why is it so okay that I am sick? Mainly because I am less stressed than I have been recently about my house. Thanks to a one-year tv ban that we as a family have decided to embark on, replacing satellite with passes to the local rec centres, there is more time, less distraction....for everybody. I have been getting a bit more help around the house, and thanks to my f-i-l, I also have a new vacuum that really sucks (in the good sense), and have managed to get the upstairs fairly clean (though it's not as sparkly today, with me being sick and only spot cleaning instead of scrubbing bathtubs and such like yesterday and the day before), and a lot of the laundry done, which is a huge accomplishment after everyone getting the stomach flu one day after each other, creating a giant pile of sheets and towels and bedding and clothes that got puked or pooped on, in addition to the usual Mount Washmore.
So I was able to crawl feebly back into bed and dream for awhile this morning....which leads to the dreams part.
Some people say dreams mean stuff, and I really have to wonder what this dream means. For some reason, lately, I have been dreaming about someone....a reunion in this particular dream. It's odd, because I really don't think I have been pondering on this person much....they live a very long way away, and quite honestly have not talked to me or made contact in any way over the past few years. I have not even SEEN this person for....probably about 10 years now, give or take.
In this dream, I am in some strange place, a shelter, maybe? But it's a comfortable place. That much I know. There are a lot of people there, who I seem to know, but am not sure if actually exist in real life, because I don't remember who else was in the dream. Anyway....in this dream, this person is suddenly where I am. They have come back from the far off place, and they see me. This person is very surprised to see me, and in fact pleased to see me, and incredibly impressed with who I am now, I guess both physically and maturity-wise. In my dream I am very happy about this, and very surprised by his pleased surprise, and his sudden higher regard for me....and for some reason I am slightly taller than him, and that impresses him. Weird.
But in my dream, I am still married. I still have my children. It is not a romantic type dream, more of a searching dream, kind of a this-is-who-I am, who-are-you now? sort of thing. I am very pleased he has come, and very pleased at his reactions. I am somewhat....at a loss, I suppose, as to how to react to this person in my dream, a happy yet sad reunion. I want to appear my best for this person, but am not sure why. In my dream I am not sure what he wants from me, or why he is so pleased by who I am, but it was a very good dream that I really wish I could have finished, like a good book....I want to know the ending, the answers to why, what happened, maybe a bit more as to who this person became (in my dream).
And now that I am awake, I find myself seriously wondering what the real person has become now, what he looks like now, how his life is going (beyond what he does for a job....that I know....and where)....and what he really WOULD think of me if we met again, now. What would I think of him? And wondering why it matters, and where the dream and wonderings came from. I have to think about this some more. It just seems somewhat....important, somehow.

News of the Stupid

Due to illness and "stuff", it's been a bit since I last posted, but I have three items to blog about, that seem to fit well under my chosen title.
You really have to wonder about some people, you really do.
"AND YOU ARE MAD *WHY*???"
Here is the story about a young man. This young man decided it would be a good idea to try to beat a train. The guard rail had already come down, and the train was essentially to the crossing. This young man was riding his bike, and thought he could make it, I guess. He plowed up to the guard rail on his bike, and luckily for him, said guard rail bumped him off the bike. Bike ends up under the train. Man does not. Train engineer, of course, has to stop the train, back it up, out of the crossing, so as not to tie up traffic while he writes out his incident in triplicate and so on. The grateful young man's way of showing how happy he is not to be a grease spot on the tracks? He flips off the poor, I'm sure extremely shaken, train engineer. Hellloooooo idiot! The engineer didn't tell you to try beating his train, he did not try to run over your bike that you so idiotically tried to ride across the tracks. You should be hanging your head in shame and kissing the ground you walk on for the guard rail that saved your sorry life.
"ALCOHOL MAY HAVE BEEN A FACTOR"
I'm sure all, or at least most of you, have heard about this one. Man in his 20's is taken to hospital in the wee hours of the morning with severe frostbite and hypothermia, poorly dressed for the -51C windchill we had this past week. 8 hours later, he asks about his children, who, up to this point, nobody knew were missing or even existed. They are eventually found frozen to death. Alcohol was a factor. These poor babies (1 and 3) were only dressed in t-shirts and diapers. How much pain did they have to be in before they died? How long did they suffer before the cold mercifully put them into unconsciousness and ultimately death? What person takes their children outside, dressed like that, in winter, no matter WHAT the temperature? I saw that there are those who are asking for him to have a light sentence because of the emotional trauma he must be going through. I disagree. That may make me heartless, but I'm sorry....you killed your own kids out of your own sheer stupidity and drunkenness. "I was drunk" is not an excuse in my book. Ever. For anything. You do the crime, you do the crime. How must that poor mother feel? She lost both her babies, that she carried inside her, BOTH of them, all at once. She never even got to say goodbye. And due to the drunkenness of her husband. That's got to be a hard reality to face for her. And for him. This story had me in tears, as I delivered it as front page news on the newspapers. It had and has me sad, and furious, and in a certain state of disbelief. And just think of the poor RCMP officers whose job it was to find, and remove, those poor, tiny, frozen bodies from the snow. I couldn't do it. Not in my wildest dreams, or in this case, nightmares, could I ever do that job.
"WE WILL BE CHECKING UP ON YOU"
This is an extremely personal story, and as such, will come across as pretty much a vent. We have a Dog. Dog loves us and we love dog. She is our baby, and we spoil her rotten.
The other night, Daughter and I had to go out. Husband was sick, and stayed at home with Son. I put Dog out around 6PM, thinking she would scratch at the door a few minutes later, as she always did, so Husband could let her in. But she didn't.
7:30 comes. Daughter and I are preparing to head home when Husband calls, practically in tears. He cannot find Dog anywhere. Poor sick guy had even bundled up and searched the backyard, neighbour's backyard, under the deck where Dog likes to hide, and up the street. Daughter and i drive the neighbourhood, looking for a black dog at night. No luck. I send Daughter inside, go up and down the street yelling for Dog. A few minutes later, Dog shows up in backyard, magically. I realize Dog had been in next door's house because she is all toasty warm and reeking of cigarettes. We are extremely relieved, as we had thought she'd somehow escaped, run off, and would freeze to death in the -51C windchill. They had fed her something while she was there, and whatever it was gave her diarrhea so bad, it looked like she was peeing hot chocolate out her butt.
I typed up a nice note the next morning (because they work odd shifts and I didn't want to wake anyone by knocking on the door) to say I was thankful they had taken her in, explaining the situation (Husband was sick, I had let Dog out thinking she'd scratch, etc, Husband thought she was inside since she didn't scratch....), and that I would fix the hole in the fence (how she got there in the first place) right away, and if it happened again, please let us know right away and to please not feed her anything anymore because it had made her sick and messed with her feeding schedule, and thanks again.
Next thing I know, that afternoon, Animal Control shows up at our door, saying there had been a complaint that we were constantly leaving our dog out for long periods of time, unattended, in very cold weather, and that she was malnourished! They drove up to our house in their marked van, wearing their huge letter emblazoned jackets, and demanded to see our dog and our backyard. We complied, as I tried to explain to them that we do NOT leave our dog out for long periods of time, ESPECIALLY in weather like this. They, of course, didn't believe me. They told me her doghouse was insufficient because it wasn't insulated. (She's an indoor dog who doesn't really use one anyway) The guy felt her side and said he could sense ribs and so we had to fatten her up. The amount they told us to feed her was unbelievable! We were told to feed her 6 cups of kibble PLUS potatoes and rice and bacon grease each DAY! According to our dog food bag, that would be about what you would feed a dog of about 150-200 pounds. She is 60 pounds. For her breed and size, she is supposed to be 55-70 pounds. Her breed is the type where you are SUPPOSED to sense ribs if you feel along the side. Not see them, but feel them. She is shiny, she is happy, her trainer says she's an excellent size with good, strong muscles, her vet at her last visit said she was a good size....we bought the new, insulated doghouse. That is a fight we will not win, and if having it in our yard will make them happy, so be it....but the dog is afraid to go in it. And she stays outside all of MAYBE 20 minutes maximum each time. But whatever. As to the fattening her up part, that we are going to fight. Anyone who really knows what they are talking about in terms of dog size and weight will back us up, we will go get documentation from the vet, if that is what it will take. And we want them to close the file. We don't need them driving past, peeking into the backyard at regular intervals to see if we have left her out to freeze or whatever stupid fiction our neighbours have come up with. We do not neglect our dog. When it's cold, we even try to convince her NOT to go outside! She eats like a pig, and just happens to be high energy, and built for speed. It's just the type of dog she is!
My theory on why they did this? When we got Dog, their two dogs barked nearly incessantly through the fence at her. She does not bark back, only barking when someone goes by on the hill behind our beck fence. I think someone complained on their dogs (no, it wasn't us), because they bark at anyone and everything that moves. One board in our fence got broken. I think it was one of their dogs trying to get through to our dog, but I can't prove it. Our dog just wants to stick her nose through the gaps, wag her tail, and squeak at them, or run up and down along the fence, as if they were playing tag with no contact. In any case, I've seen their dogs in our yard, and now our dog got into theirs. I boarded that sucker up with heavy pine so nothing is getting through. And that is the end of good relations with the neighbours. Anyone who won't come and knock on my door if they have an honest concern about my dog and who deems it necessary to automatically call in someone who has the power to strip my dog away from her stable, loving home, is certainly NOT someone I want to have anything to do with. You have a problem with something I'm doing? You come TALK to me about it! Or write me a nice note.
For the record, my canine baby loves popcorn, playing tug-of-war, chewing bones, sleeping on the couch while being petted, licking everyone who stays still long enough, and eating pretty much anything, anywhere, anytime. She's a soppy thing, and we love her with everything we've got....so much so that we're willing and ready to fight tooth and nail over this horrible, and false, accusation. We would never, ever, under any circumstances, abuse, neglect, or otherwise hurt our baby....I mean Dog!

Shaken, not stirred

Despite my cutesy title, this will be one of my serious posts.
I am feeling quite shaken lately.....in my faith, that is. I can't really pinpoint where it started, it's just been an accumulation of things, I suppose.
I am finding it difficult to hang on to the faith that used to be so easy, so much a part of me. I have spent the last few days asking for signs, asking for ANYTHING, really.
Over the past few years, it has seemed that either I'm too bad for God to grant me anything, God isn't the way everyone has portrayed Him....or He isn't there at all.
Now before people jump on me, believe me, I am struggling pretty hard with this one, especially since this has been somewhat the core of my life thus far. And I'm sure most,if not all of this struggle is my own fault.
Things just don't seem to add up anymore. I am considering removing myself from the worship team at church because, quite frankly, I don't belong there right now. I'm not up there for the right reasons anymore. I'm up there because I love the singing.
A part of me knows that God MUST be out there SOMEWHERE....but a part of me is stumbling around, wondering....
I don't FEEL God, I don't SEE God, I can't even say I really KNOW God....and God doesn't seem to be there for me, either. Bible verses contradict what I see. Some passages have me thinking He is definitely NOT the loving God people claim He is, if He's even there.
For example, it says where two or three are gathered, He is there. What you ask for will be granted. Then why is it that scores of people have prayed for a certain person in my life to be healed of a mental/maybe spiritual affliction for YEARS...and the result fluctuates between either nothing happening at all, to the point that this person doesn't even talk about the issue, or the person takes a step in faith, trying to face whatever this is, and having it be a horrifying experience that turns them off for months, even years, from even thinking of trying to face it again.
I pray for the health of my family, and they all get sick with tonsillitis, bronchitis, pneumonia!
I pray a prayer of thanks for a contract that would allow us to pay off some debt, cover recent dental and eyesight costs, and allow me to be a stay-at-home mom full-time for awhile.....and the contract is renegged.
I pray for adequate rest, and end up more busy and more tired.
I pray that I would finally have the wherewithall to get my house clean, and get sick, tired, uninspired, and the entire family somehow forgets to put ANYTHING away and drops it all wherever it falls and the house looks like a bomb hit, when we are expecting company in a few days' time.
I understand that sometimes God says "no", but when the answer is ALWAYS no, you start to wonder if either God has it in for you, or He isn't there to begin with.
As to the part about God not being what they say he is...why would a loving God harden people's hearts so they'd go to Hell if we are supposed to have free will? (Pharaoh in Exodus) Why would a God who tells us it's wrong to murder tell all those armies in the old Testament to go out and slaughter everybody in their way in a quest to obtain land? Why would a loving God who wants everyone to be with Him allow someone to suffer so badly every time they hear about Him that they block it all out during the time, have such a violent bodily reaction during it, and as a result completely avoid the concept afterwards?
I really don't know where I stand right now. I know you aren't supposed to test God, but I'm desperate, I need to know one way or another in MY mind, in MY heart, not from someone else. I am feeling very discouraged because I "set out a fleece" a few days ago, one of those heart-wrenching "If you're there, God, then PLEASE do THIS to prove it!" things....and nothing. Universe shuddering silence.
I just don't know anymore.

It was torture....STOP LAUGHING!

Okay, I am going to write this, and those of you who know me from high school are probably going to get a good chuckle out of this one...
Over the Christmas break, I had some issues with my throat. In the end, I was cured by a strong antibiotic. I finished said pills on Wednesday. Now here is where you high school chums start the grinning and snickering....you know when you get a prescription from Shopper's, they give you that sheet that lists side effects and drug interactions, do-s and don't-s? Well, this particular one says do not consume coffee while on this medication.
Yes, boys and girls, the drug was going STRAIGHT for the achilles heel, a blessing and a curse all wrapped in one. And I had to take it for ten, count 'em, TEN days!
Day one wasn't too bad, just a faint (well....maybe not so faint) longing to drink my coffee. The next few days were sheer torture. Add the desire for the coffee with all the withdrawal symptoms, peaking at about day 4 with absolute cravings, daydreaming about sweet, creamy, steaming mugs of coffee. I must have been really annoying to Husband, as I must have said a million times, over the ten days, how terribly much I really wanted a cup of coffee. I was practically climbing the walls for want of it. Who needs hard drugs when you can do coffee?
In any case, I made it through the ten days and brewed up my pot of coffee yesterday the moment I got back from papers....Dickens Toffee flavour (for any of you coffee hounds out there who have access to a Save-On-Foods, they have amazing flavours of beans sometimes....I have to go to Edmonton to get mine). I think I had 3....maybe 4? mugs of the stuff. It was really nice.
And for those of you who like to know how crazy I am....my freezer currently holds 7 types of coffee beans...Dickens Toffee, Coconut Fiesta, German Chocolate Mint, Pecan Delight, Raspberries and Cream, Swiss Chocolate Almond (I think....it's chocolate SOMETHING, anyway....), and dark roast.
So there you go. I've made some of you laugh at me, some go "Whoa! She's weeeeeeird!", and some are shaking their heads at me in either mild amusement or mild distain. :) Now I think I'll go have a cup of coffee. All this typing has made me thirsty.