For the past 6 months or so, I have watched my body fall apart in different ways, but none so scary as the one that started back then and hit its peak today. You see, I had lumps. One on the underside of my right upper arm, and one on my left side. Very sore ones at that. I thought briefly of having them checked out, but with my aversion to going to the doctor, decided I would not. In my experience, the second I walk in, my symptoms disappear like clouds and the doctor finds nothing wrong, most of the time.
So I left them. Sort of. I kept feeling them a lot, so couldn't really say if they were growing or not, kind of like you don't always notice how big your kids are getting or how long your hair is getting until it kind of hits you in a bang. I don't think they grew much, but at the same time, they did grow some....and then last night, quite by accident, I discovered I had acquired 3 more on my back. I had Hubby check them out, and he was quite concerned. Me being the worrier that I am, I was on the computer, researching what I could on lumps.
Today I waited for a chance to head off to the doctor alone...this was not the sort of conversation I wanted to scare my kids with, since, as I'm sure you can imagine, cancer was uppermost in my thoughts, especially with my family history. I wrote a few e-mails, asking for prayers and thoughts, called one friend, and when the time arose, I headed off after bursting into tears on hubby' shoulder. I was terrified of what I was going to find out, and Hubby was looking pretty scared, too.
Luckily for us both, the wait was no more than 5 minutes. And the consultation was maybe 5 more. He looked at them (easily, I might add, as Hubby had thoughtfully circled them with an orange Sharpie), felt them, then told me it was Lipoma, and he was going to send me for tests for my fat and cholesterol levels. I looked up the word when I got home, and discovered that Lipoma is basically benign fatty tumours. Better than cancer, but still not great news. I looked at the sheet I have to take to the lab tomorrow, and he is covering all his bases....I'm having tests done for my liver, kidneys, urine, blood, cholesterol....pretty much you-name-it. Which is good. This way I know that when the results are in, we will know for sure that he was correct, and that these suckers are benign.
I texted Hubby right away, and both of us were very relieved. Benign we can deal with.
Now I guess we have a very definite reason to be careful about how much fat we are eating, aside from the weight-loss and general health aspect. I have joined a lipoma forum, and we shall go from here.
And hey, it's not cancer.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
It's Done.....and It Was Fun
My parents came down this past week. They are, as I mentioned in previous posts, making plans to move to our fair province, so as to be closer to the grandchildren, and I suppose to their kids as well.
They flew in on Monday night, and we hustled off to the airport to pick them up....myself, Daughter in her pink jammies with the feet and penguins all over them, and Son in his Cars jammies, as it was past heir bedtimes, but I knew there was no chance of them going to sleep before my parents arrived anyway.
Tuesday brought a day of travel and some disappointment....we spent the day looking at houses in Moose Jaw and Caronport, but none of the houses were right....some were in not so great looking neighbourhoods, some were really small, some had damage caused by water, shifting, that sort of thing....nothing struck their fancy.
Wednesday, we drove the 45 minutes to Moose Jaw again, to meet with the real estate agent, who took us down to Assiniboia. Wow. That's what I say. Wow. We looked at 3 houses. The last one was a definite no. It was a smoking house, and the people were home and smoking while we were looking. Ick, ick, ick. The hallways were narrow, the stairs down to the finished basement were downright deadly....not good. The second house we looked at was massive. It had an upstairs, a main level, and a basement, all finished and full of rooms. I believe, if memory serves me, the top level had 3 bedrooms and a bath. The main had a living room, a huge sunken den,a bathroom, a kitchen, and a dining room, plus a very large entryway and a door leading to a double garage. The basement had a huge family room, an office, a gigantic furnace room, a huge cold storage room, and another room of some sort, plus various closets and such. Too big for their liking and no real yard....not good when you have a big dog. But the first one. Wow. It's an older house, an estate sale, actually. Very well kept house. Nice, quiet street. You walk in the front door to the main level. On the main level is a living room, dining room, kitchen, 3 bedrooms, a bath, and a mud room/laundry room with a door leading out to a HUGE fenced yard with a shed. There are tons of closets everywhere. On the main floor alone, I believe there are 3 or 4 closets for coats, linens, general storage, plus each bedroom has a closet. Downstairs I can't remember completely, but it has a family room, den, bar, cedar closet, tons and tons and tons of storage closets (under the stairs, along the walls, etc)....it's the house they bought. For about $125,000. And the village itself is beautiful. It's got that old-time, community feel, plus it's got every amenity imagineable, a railway line running past it, and it's just....perfect. I want to retire there someday!
Thursday was a relaxed day, as their house was sold, they'd bought a new house....we could just veg and do a bit of in-town shopping.
Friday was the Good Friday service with all the churches in the city. It was good....except the 2 sermons part. One would have been sufficient, especially with kids in the audience. We then went out for lunch at a really nice buffet place, drove off to look at Dog River (AKA Rouleau), and vowed to come back in the summer when they are actually filming so the Corner Gas sign and the Ruby will be up and open for pictures. Then we came home to make homemade pizza.
I had to get up really early this morning....3AM to be exact....to get them off to the airport. They will be back in June, to move in. I think I will go back to bed now (it's about 4:30AM)
Oh! Did I tell you about Bessie? I'll check my blog later to see, and if I haven't, I will have to include that in a future post. I'm too tired to do it right now.
They flew in on Monday night, and we hustled off to the airport to pick them up....myself, Daughter in her pink jammies with the feet and penguins all over them, and Son in his Cars jammies, as it was past heir bedtimes, but I knew there was no chance of them going to sleep before my parents arrived anyway.
Tuesday brought a day of travel and some disappointment....we spent the day looking at houses in Moose Jaw and Caronport, but none of the houses were right....some were in not so great looking neighbourhoods, some were really small, some had damage caused by water, shifting, that sort of thing....nothing struck their fancy.
Wednesday, we drove the 45 minutes to Moose Jaw again, to meet with the real estate agent, who took us down to Assiniboia. Wow. That's what I say. Wow. We looked at 3 houses. The last one was a definite no. It was a smoking house, and the people were home and smoking while we were looking. Ick, ick, ick. The hallways were narrow, the stairs down to the finished basement were downright deadly....not good. The second house we looked at was massive. It had an upstairs, a main level, and a basement, all finished and full of rooms. I believe, if memory serves me, the top level had 3 bedrooms and a bath. The main had a living room, a huge sunken den,a bathroom, a kitchen, and a dining room, plus a very large entryway and a door leading to a double garage. The basement had a huge family room, an office, a gigantic furnace room, a huge cold storage room, and another room of some sort, plus various closets and such. Too big for their liking and no real yard....not good when you have a big dog. But the first one. Wow. It's an older house, an estate sale, actually. Very well kept house. Nice, quiet street. You walk in the front door to the main level. On the main level is a living room, dining room, kitchen, 3 bedrooms, a bath, and a mud room/laundry room with a door leading out to a HUGE fenced yard with a shed. There are tons of closets everywhere. On the main floor alone, I believe there are 3 or 4 closets for coats, linens, general storage, plus each bedroom has a closet. Downstairs I can't remember completely, but it has a family room, den, bar, cedar closet, tons and tons and tons of storage closets (under the stairs, along the walls, etc)....it's the house they bought. For about $125,000. And the village itself is beautiful. It's got that old-time, community feel, plus it's got every amenity imagineable, a railway line running past it, and it's just....perfect. I want to retire there someday!
Thursday was a relaxed day, as their house was sold, they'd bought a new house....we could just veg and do a bit of in-town shopping.
Friday was the Good Friday service with all the churches in the city. It was good....except the 2 sermons part. One would have been sufficient, especially with kids in the audience. We then went out for lunch at a really nice buffet place, drove off to look at Dog River (AKA Rouleau), and vowed to come back in the summer when they are actually filming so the Corner Gas sign and the Ruby will be up and open for pictures. Then we came home to make homemade pizza.
I had to get up really early this morning....3AM to be exact....to get them off to the airport. They will be back in June, to move in. I think I will go back to bed now (it's about 4:30AM)
Oh! Did I tell you about Bessie? I'll check my blog later to see, and if I haven't, I will have to include that in a future post. I'm too tired to do it right now.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Ohhhhhhhh Dear!
Well, here I sit in front of the computer....wondering where, exactly, my brain has gone.
I ran my 5.06km at the track yesterday....and had a rough night as my muscles complained about my having done so. I creaked my way out of bed and did my papers and decided I had better go to the track again, so I don't start putting it off and end up unprepared for May 25.
So I went. And I ran. I figured if I just got going the muscles would feel better, stop hurting so much. I ran the full 5.06Km. Again. And then I came home, got daughter off to school, and sat to do my e-mail and all the rest. And now I cannot move. I hurt so bad you can almost HEAR the muscles screaming each time I try to budge. And I can't afford to just stay here in this chair....I have a house to clean, top to bottom. I have less than a week to do so, and don't know how much help I'm going to get. Not fun.
On a really cool note, though, I am now the proud owner of a 1984 Ford LTD midsize. It will take some getting used to, as I have been somewhat spoiled by modern cars. I now have to remember to do things other cars today do on their own. Bessie doesn't even have a fuel injector. She's big, she's got some rust, but she runs. And she only cost $500. Now I have to figure out how to get the kids in safely....the back only has lap belts (and I've heard that the ones with shoulder straps are better), and I phoned around....nobody will even TRY to put a car seat anchor in! Luckily, Son is nearly big enough for a booster seat, and daughter is nearly big enough to forego a child seat altogether, so hopefully that will do. That and a little prayer. Maybe I'll see if I can buy my own anchor and get a drill that can go through metal.
I ran my 5.06km at the track yesterday....and had a rough night as my muscles complained about my having done so. I creaked my way out of bed and did my papers and decided I had better go to the track again, so I don't start putting it off and end up unprepared for May 25.
So I went. And I ran. I figured if I just got going the muscles would feel better, stop hurting so much. I ran the full 5.06Km. Again. And then I came home, got daughter off to school, and sat to do my e-mail and all the rest. And now I cannot move. I hurt so bad you can almost HEAR the muscles screaming each time I try to budge. And I can't afford to just stay here in this chair....I have a house to clean, top to bottom. I have less than a week to do so, and don't know how much help I'm going to get. Not fun.
On a really cool note, though, I am now the proud owner of a 1984 Ford LTD midsize. It will take some getting used to, as I have been somewhat spoiled by modern cars. I now have to remember to do things other cars today do on their own. Bessie doesn't even have a fuel injector. She's big, she's got some rust, but she runs. And she only cost $500. Now I have to figure out how to get the kids in safely....the back only has lap belts (and I've heard that the ones with shoulder straps are better), and I phoned around....nobody will even TRY to put a car seat anchor in! Luckily, Son is nearly big enough for a booster seat, and daughter is nearly big enough to forego a child seat altogether, so hopefully that will do. That and a little prayer. Maybe I'll see if I can buy my own anchor and get a drill that can go through metal.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Everything is going to be AAAAAALLLL right....
Anyone who has watched Dragon's Den knows what that came from....and by the way I don't thing it was such a good idea either. Cute, but not a big selling idea.
Anyway...I recently got very health minded and decided I was going to push myself to do something fantastic...
So i signed myself up for a 5k at the end of May. This was very quickly followed by a deep sense of what the HECK have I DONE??? I haven't run for months, and just recently discovered my Leisure pass is still valid for another week.
I decided that, since I'm signed up for this thing, and have paid for it, I'd better get my butt in gear and train for this sucker.
I went to the indoor track this morning, and plunked my chunky self in a lane for joggers. 220 metres per lap on this one. So I started jogging along. I am a very slow jogger. I felt like the little old lady toodling along the road in her car, ticking everybody off by going about 20kph. The seasoned runners were bopping by, weaving from lane to lane, passing me, looking all cool and collected. But I kept at it, and kept at it, and *gasp, wheeze* kept at it....and to my own credit and pride, managed to jog 5.06 km this morning without stopping or walking....took me a little over 40 minutes. My hope is to get my time down to maybe....30 minutes? I think that's a reasonable goal for this year's run.
At least I now know for sure that I am capable of surviving the run without keeling over. This is a very good thing.
Anyway...I recently got very health minded and decided I was going to push myself to do something fantastic...
So i signed myself up for a 5k at the end of May. This was very quickly followed by a deep sense of what the HECK have I DONE??? I haven't run for months, and just recently discovered my Leisure pass is still valid for another week.
I decided that, since I'm signed up for this thing, and have paid for it, I'd better get my butt in gear and train for this sucker.
I went to the indoor track this morning, and plunked my chunky self in a lane for joggers. 220 metres per lap on this one. So I started jogging along. I am a very slow jogger. I felt like the little old lady toodling along the road in her car, ticking everybody off by going about 20kph. The seasoned runners were bopping by, weaving from lane to lane, passing me, looking all cool and collected. But I kept at it, and kept at it, and *gasp, wheeze* kept at it....and to my own credit and pride, managed to jog 5.06 km this morning without stopping or walking....took me a little over 40 minutes. My hope is to get my time down to maybe....30 minutes? I think that's a reasonable goal for this year's run.
At least I now know for sure that I am capable of surviving the run without keeling over. This is a very good thing.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Westjet ROCKS!
I just remembered one of the things I wanted to blog about.
I get to fly three times, count 'em THREE times this year. I love to fly. I especially love the taking off and landing parts...that feeling is so cool.
Anyway. Westjet will be taking me all three times.
The first time will be in early April. That will be for Regional competition in Surrey (BC). I got that one on a 40% off sale, which was really cool. To top it off, our plans changed slightly, as we are taking the kids to see the Wiggles on the day I was scheduled to return home....but the show we are going to is a 2 1/2 hour drive from here, and I'd never make it in time. So I phoned them up, and the very nice lady looked into it for me, and got me an open ended flight....Regina to Surrey, then Surrey to Saskatoon. And the cost to change the flight? $21. You see, it costs $40 to change a flight, but the return trip to Saskatoon was $19 cheaper than the original return flight to Regina. Yay.
The second time will be at the end of May. This is the most amazing one. Regina to Toronto (and back)....one day sale....80% off. You heard me....80% off. $39 one way plus taxes, etc... I am going and taking my two kids with me (and kids pay full fare to fly....no more kid rates).....total cost for three return tickets? About $530. Total, not each. Total. My ticket for my first flight, just for me, was close to that amount! That will be so much fun....I get to visit a friend who has two kids only 7 months apart in age from my kids (I had one in January, she had one in August.....then SHE had one in January, and I had one in August), and hopefully will get to see a friend that I have not seen since summer of 2000. And we will get to meet each other's kids.
The third time is one we have been planning for and saving for for a little over 2 years now....Grey Cup in Montreal. Husband is going to Grey Cup, and the kids and I are going shopping, sight seeing, and visiting around my old Alma Mater. I love Montreal. Always have, always will, and want my kids to share that love, too. That one will be covered entirely by airmiles. Woo hoo!
So all in all, it's going to be a very fun year, doing more traveling than I have done in a very, very, VERY long time! Yaaaaaaaay! :)
Oh, and just for the record....Air Canada sucks.
I get to fly three times, count 'em THREE times this year. I love to fly. I especially love the taking off and landing parts...that feeling is so cool.
Anyway. Westjet will be taking me all three times.
The first time will be in early April. That will be for Regional competition in Surrey (BC). I got that one on a 40% off sale, which was really cool. To top it off, our plans changed slightly, as we are taking the kids to see the Wiggles on the day I was scheduled to return home....but the show we are going to is a 2 1/2 hour drive from here, and I'd never make it in time. So I phoned them up, and the very nice lady looked into it for me, and got me an open ended flight....Regina to Surrey, then Surrey to Saskatoon. And the cost to change the flight? $21. You see, it costs $40 to change a flight, but the return trip to Saskatoon was $19 cheaper than the original return flight to Regina. Yay.
The second time will be at the end of May. This is the most amazing one. Regina to Toronto (and back)....one day sale....80% off. You heard me....80% off. $39 one way plus taxes, etc... I am going and taking my two kids with me (and kids pay full fare to fly....no more kid rates).....total cost for three return tickets? About $530. Total, not each. Total. My ticket for my first flight, just for me, was close to that amount! That will be so much fun....I get to visit a friend who has two kids only 7 months apart in age from my kids (I had one in January, she had one in August.....then SHE had one in January, and I had one in August), and hopefully will get to see a friend that I have not seen since summer of 2000. And we will get to meet each other's kids.
The third time is one we have been planning for and saving for for a little over 2 years now....Grey Cup in Montreal. Husband is going to Grey Cup, and the kids and I are going shopping, sight seeing, and visiting around my old Alma Mater. I love Montreal. Always have, always will, and want my kids to share that love, too. That one will be covered entirely by airmiles. Woo hoo!
So all in all, it's going to be a very fun year, doing more traveling than I have done in a very, very, VERY long time! Yaaaaaaaay! :)
Oh, and just for the record....Air Canada sucks.
Morning Has Broken
Finally! Same as last year, I know....but you have to understand that when you work a job like mine, winter is a very long, dark place.
So there I was, walking along, finishing my second route of the morning, when I happened to glance at the horizon. There it was, that glorious lightening strip in the sky, the one I had been waiting months for. If that had not brought a smile to my face, I would have to be stark raving mad. I live for sunshine. The fact that sunshine was on its way was a very, very good thing.
It has been awhile since I have written....I have had many topics buzzing through my brain, but somehow never quite got around to sitting down to type them out. And now i have forgotten what they were. Hopefully over the next little while, I will remember what the important ones were.
I am finally coming out of my shell somewhat. I hate speaking up in public. Hate it. Scares the living daylights out of me. I have this huge complex that has me convinced that if I say what is on my mind, I will look like an idiot, get shot down, not be able to argue my point, have people hate me, lose friends, etc, etc, etc. Trust me, that is enough to make me literally start shaking just THINKING about what I want to say, and it takes monumental strength for me to actually open my mouth and SAY what needs to be said....but I agreed last year to be on the Board for my chorus. That meant that this weekend past, I got to go on the leadership retreat. It was a lot of fun, and an amazing place with deer and birds and squirrels just outside the lodge windows and all, and very peaceful and quiet. But while we were there, we had to plan out the next year. And one of the things that came up was that the focus in chorus was gone, the people were not doing their "job".
It had to be said. It really had to be said, and nobody was saying it. I meekly put up my hand....
-Can I say something?
-Sure
-Well, one thing that's really bothering me is that everyone has been trying to make everybody happy, to keep members from leaving. The problem is that nobody is being kept accountable. When I joined, it was made very clear to me that this was a competing, performing chorus. To be a part of it, I had to do the work. If I didn't like it, I shouldn't have joined the chorus. Now we are telling people that they don't have to compete, they don't need to perform....if we are saying this sort of thing, NO WONDER people aren't learning their music and such like they are supposed to....if they don't intend to compete or perform, why would they? They are getting the impression that it's not important. Our sound has suffered, our music has suffered, we used to win first place all the time, now we don't, and we go in with an attitude that we aren't going to win. We used to go in believing we were the best, and we won....every time! Then we suddenly were told we were expecting too much, we were suddenly told we could only expect to reach certain levels, and now we go in with an attitude of "Well, we'll TRY, but we probably won't win"....and then we DON'T. Even if we can't win, we have a much better chance of getting CLOSE if we BELIEVE it! There are so many people who have done amazing things, simply because nobody told them it was supposedly impossible.
Now let me tell you. I said this to an audience of 10 people. I thought I was going to die right there and then, I was shaking so badly, my heart was pounding, and I was dizzy with fright.
The result? It opened up discussion like nothing you would believe! They were totally agreeing with me, saw that I was right, and we started off on a plan to get the chorus back to what it was supposed to be.
We went to rehearsal on Tuesday night,and the team started recapping for the rest of the chorus just exactly what we had done with our weekend. Problem was, everybody was skirting the issue, nobody was saying what needed to be said when we were telling them what e had gotten out of the weekend. I was wriggling in my seat, I was so uncomfortable, just mentally BEGGING for someone to say it. Finally, at the last moment, when I knew it was going to be me or nobody, I meekly put up my hand...
-The thing I got most out of the weekend was that we reaffirmed what this chorus is really about. We made it clear that we all agree that this is a COMPETING, PERFORMING chorus, and that this is still our MAIN FOCUS as Prairie Gold.
It was so funny. You could have heard my heart pounding in the slight pause of shock...I had spoken up in front of about 30 people. Me. The one who NEVER speaks up. The director started to applaud, but quickly stopped....because I had said what HAD to be said, and she had wanted it said....it was a really nice feeling to know she was so proud of me for having spoken up. So I mentally thought to myself "Ha! So there!" Why? I dunno. It just fit the way I was feeling.
I still don't think they got it. I still don't think the message got across half as strongly as it needs to. But it will. In time, it will. Maybe if I keep speaking up once in awhile, the rest of the board will get on it, to, and make the other members understand...this chorus has a focus on three things....competition, performance, and education. If you want to be in the chorus, you need to learn your music, you need to perform to the absolute best of your ability, you need to constantly be learning more of the music, practicing it until it reaches absolute excellence, you need to perform, to sharpen your skill, and to give it everything you have so that when we go to competition, we are bringing home those gold medals, the high scores, the knowledge that no matter what the outcome, there is no way any member on those risers could have given even one more molecule.
If you are not there to further these goals, if you are not in agreement with where the chorus is headed, then this chorus is not the place for you. We cannot make everyone happy all the time. We have loads of fun, and we love each other like a family AND like best friends....but we work HARD and it's not fair to hold other members back if you aren't 100% committed to excellence in competition and performance. We may lose some members. And we will be sad to see them go....but at the same time, we need to stay true to the whole foundation of the Sweet Adelines International. We are not a glee club, we are not just for fun. It even states in the international bylaws that we MUST compete.
And come on! If we win the gold at Regionals this year, we get to go to NASHVILLE for Internationals next year!!!!!!!! I SOOOOOO want to go to Nashville!!!!!!!!!
Anyway....I'm getting really cold, sitting in my drafty office. Time for coffee, and then major house cleaning. 11 days until my parents arrive!
So there I was, walking along, finishing my second route of the morning, when I happened to glance at the horizon. There it was, that glorious lightening strip in the sky, the one I had been waiting months for. If that had not brought a smile to my face, I would have to be stark raving mad. I live for sunshine. The fact that sunshine was on its way was a very, very good thing.
It has been awhile since I have written....I have had many topics buzzing through my brain, but somehow never quite got around to sitting down to type them out. And now i have forgotten what they were. Hopefully over the next little while, I will remember what the important ones were.
I am finally coming out of my shell somewhat. I hate speaking up in public. Hate it. Scares the living daylights out of me. I have this huge complex that has me convinced that if I say what is on my mind, I will look like an idiot, get shot down, not be able to argue my point, have people hate me, lose friends, etc, etc, etc. Trust me, that is enough to make me literally start shaking just THINKING about what I want to say, and it takes monumental strength for me to actually open my mouth and SAY what needs to be said....but I agreed last year to be on the Board for my chorus. That meant that this weekend past, I got to go on the leadership retreat. It was a lot of fun, and an amazing place with deer and birds and squirrels just outside the lodge windows and all, and very peaceful and quiet. But while we were there, we had to plan out the next year. And one of the things that came up was that the focus in chorus was gone, the people were not doing their "job".
It had to be said. It really had to be said, and nobody was saying it. I meekly put up my hand....
-Can I say something?
-Sure
-Well, one thing that's really bothering me is that everyone has been trying to make everybody happy, to keep members from leaving. The problem is that nobody is being kept accountable. When I joined, it was made very clear to me that this was a competing, performing chorus. To be a part of it, I had to do the work. If I didn't like it, I shouldn't have joined the chorus. Now we are telling people that they don't have to compete, they don't need to perform....if we are saying this sort of thing, NO WONDER people aren't learning their music and such like they are supposed to....if they don't intend to compete or perform, why would they? They are getting the impression that it's not important. Our sound has suffered, our music has suffered, we used to win first place all the time, now we don't, and we go in with an attitude that we aren't going to win. We used to go in believing we were the best, and we won....every time! Then we suddenly were told we were expecting too much, we were suddenly told we could only expect to reach certain levels, and now we go in with an attitude of "Well, we'll TRY, but we probably won't win"....and then we DON'T. Even if we can't win, we have a much better chance of getting CLOSE if we BELIEVE it! There are so many people who have done amazing things, simply because nobody told them it was supposedly impossible.
Now let me tell you. I said this to an audience of 10 people. I thought I was going to die right there and then, I was shaking so badly, my heart was pounding, and I was dizzy with fright.
The result? It opened up discussion like nothing you would believe! They were totally agreeing with me, saw that I was right, and we started off on a plan to get the chorus back to what it was supposed to be.
We went to rehearsal on Tuesday night,and the team started recapping for the rest of the chorus just exactly what we had done with our weekend. Problem was, everybody was skirting the issue, nobody was saying what needed to be said when we were telling them what e had gotten out of the weekend. I was wriggling in my seat, I was so uncomfortable, just mentally BEGGING for someone to say it. Finally, at the last moment, when I knew it was going to be me or nobody, I meekly put up my hand...
-The thing I got most out of the weekend was that we reaffirmed what this chorus is really about. We made it clear that we all agree that this is a COMPETING, PERFORMING chorus, and that this is still our MAIN FOCUS as Prairie Gold.
It was so funny. You could have heard my heart pounding in the slight pause of shock...I had spoken up in front of about 30 people. Me. The one who NEVER speaks up. The director started to applaud, but quickly stopped....because I had said what HAD to be said, and she had wanted it said....it was a really nice feeling to know she was so proud of me for having spoken up. So I mentally thought to myself "Ha! So there!" Why? I dunno. It just fit the way I was feeling.
I still don't think they got it. I still don't think the message got across half as strongly as it needs to. But it will. In time, it will. Maybe if I keep speaking up once in awhile, the rest of the board will get on it, to, and make the other members understand...this chorus has a focus on three things....competition, performance, and education. If you want to be in the chorus, you need to learn your music, you need to perform to the absolute best of your ability, you need to constantly be learning more of the music, practicing it until it reaches absolute excellence, you need to perform, to sharpen your skill, and to give it everything you have so that when we go to competition, we are bringing home those gold medals, the high scores, the knowledge that no matter what the outcome, there is no way any member on those risers could have given even one more molecule.
If you are not there to further these goals, if you are not in agreement with where the chorus is headed, then this chorus is not the place for you. We cannot make everyone happy all the time. We have loads of fun, and we love each other like a family AND like best friends....but we work HARD and it's not fair to hold other members back if you aren't 100% committed to excellence in competition and performance. We may lose some members. And we will be sad to see them go....but at the same time, we need to stay true to the whole foundation of the Sweet Adelines International. We are not a glee club, we are not just for fun. It even states in the international bylaws that we MUST compete.
And come on! If we win the gold at Regionals this year, we get to go to NASHVILLE for Internationals next year!!!!!!!! I SOOOOOO want to go to Nashville!!!!!!!!!
Anyway....I'm getting really cold, sitting in my drafty office. Time for coffee, and then major house cleaning. 11 days until my parents arrive!
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