Over the past few months, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I have Lipoma. That, in itself, was not so bad, since, after all, it wasn't cancer. The little niggling problem I had was that a lot of what I read said that they weren't supposed to hurt, or that maybe one or two might hit a nerve once in awhile. The problem with this is that I have a few that are excruciatingly painful, and the others range from mild ache to kind of a burning sensation. And the severity changes. But never are they numb, so to speak. I joined a Lipoma forum, and introduced myself, describing what I was experiencing with mine. The moderator pointed me in the direction of some interesting websites, suggesting that I might have a very specific variation of Lipoma.
I have Dercum's Disease, Type III. Not a great outlook for my future, but at least I now know exactly what I have, what strain of Lipoma, I guess. In a way, it's a relief, because it explains a LOT of symptoms I have had. I wrote a very unhappy e-mail a few months ago, wishing the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. LOL
It's funny because you would think that I should be depressed about this....and I'm not. It's kind of a calm acceptance, and an "okay, where do we go from here?" sort of mentality. I could have them removed surgically, but that would also cause a lot of pain, and they could still come back, making the whole procedure pointless. That, and I don't do so well with anaesthetic or needles. They say losing weight won't reduce them or make them better, and can even make them worse.....but of course, I'm still going to keep on losing the weight, because the least I can do is make myself as healthy as possible, and feel better about myself and how I look. I guess I can use pain relievers when needed. It's funny (in a not-funny way) how fast this has come on and progressed.
But it isn't cancer. It won't kill me. I can learn to live with pain. And now I know what it is and can keep reading up on it and figuring out the best way to carry on for the future. :)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Happy Mother's Day?
It was not one of those Mother's Days that goes down in memories. Not really, unless you're the type to hold a grudge. I considered doing that, briefly, in my disappointment, but then, what really would be achieved by that?
A number of things contributed to my disappointing day...as we are on a very tight budget, it had already been expressed to me that I was not to expect gifts. While I understand that, I have to admit I had kind of hoped that he hadn't really meant that, that he would do SOMETHING. But no. He meant it. And to top it all off, the day before, I overheard him talking to Daughter....he had thought Mother's Day was on the 18th! So he was less than prepared to start with.
I guess I thought maybe he would try to plan something money-free for my Mother's Day, some special little things to be done or something. No. This is how my Mother's Day went....
I got up at the last possible moment to get ready for church, with hubby still in bed with no intention of getting up. No breakfast in bed from him, nor from the kids. Daughter brought out the plant of dirt with flower seeds in it and cards, all of which she had made at school or sparks or whatnot, and she, at least, had the foresight to make the plant from everyone. Got the kids ready and hauled them off to church where it started well, but ended with Son throwing tantrums all the way home, into the house, and into his room where he was sent, until he could calm down, once we finished our oh-so-fancy lunch of macaroni and cheese (boxed) and tinned beans with hacked up wieners. After lunch, Husband asked me what I wanted to do, I said I didn't know what we could do without money, and instead of his trying to come up with something, he put himself on the couch for a nap, despite having slept in that morning already.
We went for a walk with the dog to mail a letter, which I forgot to bring, so got a scathing look of frustration and a "Well! That's the whole reason we came on this walk in the FIRST place!".
Dog hurt her paw and ended up in a bandage and neck cone. Husband bought me a Slurpee. I made a strawberry crisp to do SOMETHING special for Mother's Day, to go with our chicken stir fry. And that was about it. Whoopee.
Next year had better be something amazing. I know you read this, so consider yourself fairly warned....MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A number of things contributed to my disappointing day...as we are on a very tight budget, it had already been expressed to me that I was not to expect gifts. While I understand that, I have to admit I had kind of hoped that he hadn't really meant that, that he would do SOMETHING. But no. He meant it. And to top it all off, the day before, I overheard him talking to Daughter....he had thought Mother's Day was on the 18th! So he was less than prepared to start with.
I guess I thought maybe he would try to plan something money-free for my Mother's Day, some special little things to be done or something. No. This is how my Mother's Day went....
I got up at the last possible moment to get ready for church, with hubby still in bed with no intention of getting up. No breakfast in bed from him, nor from the kids. Daughter brought out the plant of dirt with flower seeds in it and cards, all of which she had made at school or sparks or whatnot, and she, at least, had the foresight to make the plant from everyone. Got the kids ready and hauled them off to church where it started well, but ended with Son throwing tantrums all the way home, into the house, and into his room where he was sent, until he could calm down, once we finished our oh-so-fancy lunch of macaroni and cheese (boxed) and tinned beans with hacked up wieners. After lunch, Husband asked me what I wanted to do, I said I didn't know what we could do without money, and instead of his trying to come up with something, he put himself on the couch for a nap, despite having slept in that morning already.
We went for a walk with the dog to mail a letter, which I forgot to bring, so got a scathing look of frustration and a "Well! That's the whole reason we came on this walk in the FIRST place!".
Dog hurt her paw and ended up in a bandage and neck cone. Husband bought me a Slurpee. I made a strawberry crisp to do SOMETHING special for Mother's Day, to go with our chicken stir fry. And that was about it. Whoopee.
Next year had better be something amazing. I know you read this, so consider yourself fairly warned....MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Successes and side effects
I have been going to the gym as frequently as my (and Husband's) schedule has allowed, after papers each morning (which has been 106-109 a day for the past few days, and COLD....where is this spring?). I run for approximately 40-45 minutes, around the track. 23 laps jogging, 1 lap fast walking to essentially stop, since my body reaches a state of equilibrium where it thinks it should jog forever, whether I tell to to stop or not. I always run in lane 4. It's pretty much the absolute center. People who are walking are in lanes 1-3, lane 5 is a jogging lane also, and lane 6 is a running lane. There are days when even some of the walkers are faster than me jogging.....but at least these are the speed walkers, so I don't suck all THAT badly. Lane 4 is 220m long. That means I jog 5.06km a morning, which is good, as my 5Km fun run is in a mere 16 days.
I'm doing well. I plug myself into my iPod (which is an immense help by giving me a rousing, pulsing beat and also drowning out my breathing) and chug around the track, trying my best to ignore everybody else, and not feel too badly about the fact that everybody seems to be in so much better shape than I and for the most part are all faster than me. After all, the main point of this is to get healthier and also to achieve the execution of an actual 5KM run, which is something I have never even signed up for before, let alone actually DONE it.
And to a certain extent, I am reaching milestones and successes. It used to be that 3KM would take me an hour. The fact that I am doing 5km in 45 minutes is a major achievement. My strides are lengthening and starting to get out of the chug-chug-chug look and more into the I-can-run-like-a-normal-human look. I know because half of the days I go, the direction I have to jog has me running 1/4 of the track facing a huge wall of mirrors. The other half of the days, I am directed to run the other way, so that I am running AWAY from the mirrors and would have to make a conscious effort and turn my head sideways to look as I passed them.
I feel better, too. I don't finish feeling like I'm going to have an asthma attack, though I still sweat like a pig when I am done and changing. I am getting the runner's high during my run, too, where I feel like smiling during some laps. I get second winds and don't feel like I'm absolutely going to die if I push on through the wall. I don't get all stiff and sore anymore....any signs of that last only a few hours at most.
I like to think I look better, too. I actually looked at myself in the changeroom mirror today (no, nothing gross, AFTER I was changed, get your minds out of the gutter)....and thought "wow....I really look pretty today!" This, for me, if you know anything about my background, is huge.
Then came the side effects. I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh-in. I gained 4 pounds. 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks combined. What the hey? I've been eating well, working hard on getting that cholesterol level down....this had better be muscle and water! What a let down THAT was!
The other side effect is that I am SURE I have lost some fat off my arms....they are a little more...uh...floppy. Not nice. And also because of the reduced fat content of my arms, I am discovering new lipomas. I really am becoming lumpy.....or have been lumpy but only now have been in a state where they were find-able. At least they are not visible to others, and are just lipomas, not cancerous. I've read up on my condition and apparently some people get hundreds. I am not at that stage, thankfully.
So on I press, in the hopes of good health, good looks, and the achievement of the 5KM run on May 25th. Oh yes, and in the relief of a good night's sleep that will come with my finally quitting papers after delivery on May 27. Yay.
I'm doing well. I plug myself into my iPod (which is an immense help by giving me a rousing, pulsing beat and also drowning out my breathing) and chug around the track, trying my best to ignore everybody else, and not feel too badly about the fact that everybody seems to be in so much better shape than I and for the most part are all faster than me. After all, the main point of this is to get healthier and also to achieve the execution of an actual 5KM run, which is something I have never even signed up for before, let alone actually DONE it.
And to a certain extent, I am reaching milestones and successes. It used to be that 3KM would take me an hour. The fact that I am doing 5km in 45 minutes is a major achievement. My strides are lengthening and starting to get out of the chug-chug-chug look and more into the I-can-run-like-a-normal-human look. I know because half of the days I go, the direction I have to jog has me running 1/4 of the track facing a huge wall of mirrors. The other half of the days, I am directed to run the other way, so that I am running AWAY from the mirrors and would have to make a conscious effort and turn my head sideways to look as I passed them.
I feel better, too. I don't finish feeling like I'm going to have an asthma attack, though I still sweat like a pig when I am done and changing. I am getting the runner's high during my run, too, where I feel like smiling during some laps. I get second winds and don't feel like I'm absolutely going to die if I push on through the wall. I don't get all stiff and sore anymore....any signs of that last only a few hours at most.
I like to think I look better, too. I actually looked at myself in the changeroom mirror today (no, nothing gross, AFTER I was changed, get your minds out of the gutter)....and thought "wow....I really look pretty today!" This, for me, if you know anything about my background, is huge.
Then came the side effects. I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh-in. I gained 4 pounds. 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks combined. What the hey? I've been eating well, working hard on getting that cholesterol level down....this had better be muscle and water! What a let down THAT was!
The other side effect is that I am SURE I have lost some fat off my arms....they are a little more...uh...floppy. Not nice. And also because of the reduced fat content of my arms, I am discovering new lipomas. I really am becoming lumpy.....or have been lumpy but only now have been in a state where they were find-able. At least they are not visible to others, and are just lipomas, not cancerous. I've read up on my condition and apparently some people get hundreds. I am not at that stage, thankfully.
So on I press, in the hopes of good health, good looks, and the achievement of the 5KM run on May 25th. Oh yes, and in the relief of a good night's sleep that will come with my finally quitting papers after delivery on May 27. Yay.
Monday, May 5, 2008
I've been Tagged AGAIN!
A friend of mine has recently written a blog about 7 weird things about her, and I have been tagged to do the same because I opened my big mouth once to say I'd never been tagged for it. So now I have to figure out what is so weird about me. Hmm. Here goes...
1) I have lived in 25 different houses or apartments in 10 towns, villages, or cities, in 5 provinces and 1 Territory
2) I can wiggle my ears
3) Coffee makes me mellow, instead of jittery
4) I love having the bottoms of my feet tickled
5) I am petrified of calling people on the phone other than best friends and Husband
6) When I was pregnant, not only did I like pickles and ice cream, but tried to explain to Husband WHICH pickles you should eat with WHICH ice cream. (For example, dill goes with chocolate, bread and butter pickles go with strawberry....)
7) I am insanely obsessed with keeping in touch with friends and do not understand why I seem to be the only one who will automatically try planning a get together any time I am in somebody's neighbourhood, or to actually GO on trips to visit people. Come on people! VISIT MY NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!!!!!! (I mean those of you living outside my city, though anybody nearby reading this [who I know] can call me and we'll do coffee, for sure)
Okay...now I tag....ummmmm....BRAD! KENDRA! Everybody ELSE! :)
1) I have lived in 25 different houses or apartments in 10 towns, villages, or cities, in 5 provinces and 1 Territory
2) I can wiggle my ears
3) Coffee makes me mellow, instead of jittery
4) I love having the bottoms of my feet tickled
5) I am petrified of calling people on the phone other than best friends and Husband
6) When I was pregnant, not only did I like pickles and ice cream, but tried to explain to Husband WHICH pickles you should eat with WHICH ice cream. (For example, dill goes with chocolate, bread and butter pickles go with strawberry....)
7) I am insanely obsessed with keeping in touch with friends and do not understand why I seem to be the only one who will automatically try planning a get together any time I am in somebody's neighbourhood, or to actually GO on trips to visit people. Come on people! VISIT MY NEIGHBOURHOOD!!!!!!!! (I mean those of you living outside my city, though anybody nearby reading this [who I know] can call me and we'll do coffee, for sure)
Okay...now I tag....ummmmm....BRAD! KENDRA! Everybody ELSE! :)
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