The time had finally come.
The time when I had to face the fact that my children are growing up. The fact that they did not need me home during the day because they simply were not home. They were at school. All day. Five days a week. And they both HAD been for a little over 2 years now.
Which meant it was time for me to get back into the workforce, ease my husband's financial load a little bit (although it DOES mean they all now must take on a lot more of the household chores burden).
So off I ventured, lost in the world of employment seeking. I had dabbled into self employment as the creator of baked goods and jams, as well as back into my field of expertise- Education- as a substitute teacher, but did not find these to be either feasible or wholly enjoyable.
So I entered the land of What-On-Earth-Am-I-Supposed-To-Be-When-I-Grow-Up...a place I had not been since high school. Scary stuff. I had people suggesting a lot of different things, but nothing seemed to really resonate.
But there had been one thought in the back of my mind. I had taken this thought out of its box a few times over the past few years, then quickly shoved it back when people reacted with near horror at times... "WHAT??? Why would you want to do THAT??"
I finally ended up at a career fair about a month ago. I wandered around, feeling the same overwhelming feeling of not being qualified for most, over qualified for some, and seriously not interested in others...and then my job from the box was there.
I thought about it for awhile, bounced it off a bunch of people, rolled it around for awhile, and finally took the plunge. I filled out an application, fired off my resume, and waited. It was a mere few days before I got a response.
They received my application, would I be able to come in for an interview? Sure, absolutely. So I got all dressed up, presented myself to the powers that be, smiled and nodded and obviously did not make a complete fool of myself with my answers to their questions, and left with an armful of forms to fill out, booklets to study, and a possible training date...and an appointment to observe someone actually doing the job.
It is now two days later. The paperwork is all filled in, submitted, checked over. I have studied a fair bit, but still have some hefty studying to do before I take the written test in a few days. I have spent about two hours observing. I have had a medical, and will have a drug test, and a criminal record check. And I start training in a few weeks, with my final practical exam in about a month, I am guessing, at which point, all going well, I shall be back in the land of the employed.
What am I going to be when I grow up? It looks like I am going to be a school bus driver. This could be a lot of fun. :)
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Return to the Caribbean
As some people requested, I kept a journal of our recent cruise, and so here it is for your enjoyment. :)
AUGUST 25- Here we are on yet another adventure. We left home yesterday m0rning, dropped the dog off at K-Lane, and drove to Minot. We stayed at La Quinta. It was brand new and VERY nice. Sat in the hot tub while watching the kids in the pool. Had supper at Space Aliens. We ordered the Alien Feast for 4, but it was enough for at least 8!!!! Brisket, ribs, martian munchies (riblets), giant loaded baked potatoes, baked beans, and rolls with cinnamon on the top. Breakfast this morning was at the hotel. Free! Cereal, make your own waffles, bagels, drinks, fruits, etc. Yum!
Flew to Minneapolis and wandered there for a few hours. Took a picture of the kids by a Snoopy statue. The kids bought big fancy caramel apples. Back on the plane to Orlando. All told, we traveled or waited for about 9 hours today.
Elizabeth used the wheelchair all day. Wise choice.
Visited M&M World again. Spent money. Also bought Cherry Coke at the mall.
Had supper at Buca di Beppo. Nice supper, good price. For all 4 of us to eat, with appetizer, dinner, drinks, and dessert too, it cost us, with tip, about $75.
Quick stop at the Disney store, back to our hotel room (Florida Hotel and Conference Center), and we crash. :)
AUGUST 26- An eventful day. Up and packed, walked to McD's. Elizabeth in the wheelchair. Back to the hotel in time to surprise the kids with the fact we were taking a stretch limo to the port. Hurt my left shin when I rammed into the wheelchair when it rammed into a chunk of uneven pavement.
Got on the ship no problem, and roamed a bit with the kids. A nice lunch at the Windjammer.
The rooms are smaller than I thought, but adequate.
Kids went swimming in the rain. Very stormy and choppy out. The boat is rocking and swaying a lot this time.
The kids loved the meals and also discovered room service. Son lost his Sea Pass card. Got a hole punched in the new one.
Hubby and I did karaoke. Boot Scoot Boogie for me, Achey Breaky Song and Danny Boy for him.
Smoked fish roullade, horseradish crusted salmon, and BBB crème brulée (banana, bailey's, and brulée) for supper.
No CoCo Cay tomorrow because of Tropical Storm Isaac.
AUGUST 27- Up at 6:45. Kids had room service breakfast, Hubby and I brought food down from the Windjammer. Hubby tried black pudding.
Had a rough day, kind of. Boat doing a lot of up and down today. Made me very dizzy and queasy. Very, very windy. Son and I tried to use the jogging track, but nearly blew away. Daughter's Sea Pass card blew away when she was by the pool.
The kids liked Adventure Ocean. Both also got Sea Pets. A monkey for Son and a dragon for Daughter. Daughter made a monkey cupcake. I bought a chocolate mint cupcake and a maple bacon one.
Bought a Freedom of the Seas sweatshirt.
Lunch was at Johnny Rocket's (chili, burger, and chocolate Coke, yum!).
Daughter had a mani/pedi today.
Supper was scallop au gratin, artichoke crépe au gratin, and bittersweet chocolate soufflé.
The show was Marquee. Very good. Sleeping with the curtains open and the waves pounding the ship. At least I will be rocked to sleep. Silver lining. :)
AUGUST 28- We slept in until 8:30AM. Breakfast at the Windjammer.
Went to the mix and mingle and cabin crawl. Lunch at the Windjammer.
Played a bit at the arcade.
Supper at Chops. Filet mignon, broccolini, mashed potatoes, asparagus, and green beans with dijon and feta. Virgin piña colada and crème brulée. Kids did okay with the meal, but will be happy to return to the dining room tomorrow. The crème brulée was VERY alcoholic. Did not like it, so I did not finish it.
Show tonight was a singer/impressionist. Very good, but not a kid friendly show. Luckily, both kids were at Adventure Ocean instead. Daughter is at a late night youth dance party. Son finally managed to fall asleep despite the Adult 70's dance party in the Promenade just below his window.
Had a chocolate pear tart this afternoon. SO good!!!!!!
AUGUST 29- Today we got up early for our first excursion day, finally. St Thomas, USVI. It was very hot and humid. We all went on the sky ride, then Son and I went up the hill and Hubby and Daughter went down. We looked at their sad mini zoo where the animals were underfed and tortured by the geese, I think.
Went to Wendy's for ice cream, then more shopping (we shopped at the top of the sky ride, too), then on the Screaming Eagle. It was so much fun, and we got SO WET!!! The water was so, so salty! Bought 2 t-shirts, 2 pins, and the Christmas decoration. Son got 2 t-shirts, a colouring book, and a monkey.
Went back to the ship and went swimming.
Dinner was caprese salad, veal t-bone, and tiramisu.
Pirate parade tonight. Son was very cute.
AUGUST 30- Today we were at St Maarten. Again hot, humid, and sunny. Went on the Lord Sheffield tall ship together.
Swam in the ocean. Kind of freaky as it was 10-20 feet deep. Son and I had life vests and snorkel masks and pool noodles. Drifted with the tide and had to swim HARD to get us back to the ship ladder.
Yummy BBQ chicken and ribs, Coke, cookies, and bread with cheese and strawberry.
Both Daughter and I lost our hats to the wind on the ocean just before we returned. A bird flew away with mine when it hit the water. At least we don't need them since it was the last excursion.
Shopped after. Bought a t-shirt, Godiva chocolate, Belgian chocolate (7 pieces), a giant Reese's peanut butter bar, a mini jar of Nutella, a pin, turtle earrings, and a pineapple milk.
The kids came across a dying cat and Daughter was inconsolable for awhile.
Relaxed on the boat. Ate at the Windjammer. Saw Madagascar 3 in 3D, then an ice show, then the Love and Marriage Show.
Hubby has terrible sunburn, and I got some, not nearly as bad, on my back, shoulders, and front where the bikini wasn't.
Yesterday Daughter and Hubby went to swim with sharks. They also snorkeled, so Hubby got badly burned there, then got redder today. Not sure if it's new burn or just continuing cooking from yesterday.
Nice night at sea. Can see stars for the first time. Son heard a whale the other day.
AUGUST 31- Today was fairly relaxing, for most of it anyway. Got up and went to the character breakfast where the kids got pictures with Gloria, King Julien, and Alex. Kids went to Adventure Ocean and I bought t-shirts for Son and watched TV. Had lunch at Johnny Rockets where we found out the chocolate soda was NOT part of the free stuff.
Son had some bad luck with the arcade eating his tokens.
Kids went to Adventure Ocean and I went to my room. Watched TV, slept a tiny bit, and bought a big Ben & Jerry's sundae in a collectible glass. Hubby had been on an all-access tour of the ship.
His sunburn was so bad he was all blistered on his shoulders like I was last time and went half buggy from the itch, just like he did last year. This time he got Benadryl, so felt better soon, but was a total snoozer all evening and night.
The kids and I went to a show (Once Upon a Time), and shopping.
The kids had a huge blowout with each other like Hubby and I had on our last night in Florida last year.
SEPTEMBER 1- Last day on the cruise. Hard to believe it's September already. The day started well enough. Breakfast at the Windjammer, kids to Adventure Ocean, did some packing.
Kids had a talent show. Both sang and got medals.
Lunch in the Windjammer where the kids got to feed Hubby stuff that they thought he may not like. It was fun to watch him choke down a pickle. Took the kids back to Adventure Ocean and played 9 holes of mini golf. Headed out of there to come across Hubby and Daughter.
She broke her ankle. Just lost her footing and snapped it. Poor thing.
Supper was french onion soup, lamb, and chocolate pear crisp.
Bought 2 t-shirts. Packed. Watched the closing show. Kids got picked up from Adventure Ocean, then Daughter went to a pizza party with her friends.
Son got a scrape and bump on his head.
Kids both made a pillowcase.
SEPTEMBER 2- The trip home was long, but fairly uneventful. With Daughter in the wheelchair, and with the soft cast, we got on first and off last for both flights (Orlando to Minneapolis, Minneapolis to Minot), without it affecting our timing much.
We rode in the stretch limo to the airport.
They briefly lost her wheelchair on the second flight, but it was just stowed behind all the other checked luggage. Long drive home, getting back around midnight.
Cats were hiding, but once we found them, they could not stop meowing. :)
Good to be home. Will get the dog back tomorrow.
Next cruise will be at least 4 years away. And probably Alaska.
AUGUST 25- Here we are on yet another adventure. We left home yesterday m0rning, dropped the dog off at K-Lane, and drove to Minot. We stayed at La Quinta. It was brand new and VERY nice. Sat in the hot tub while watching the kids in the pool. Had supper at Space Aliens. We ordered the Alien Feast for 4, but it was enough for at least 8!!!! Brisket, ribs, martian munchies (riblets), giant loaded baked potatoes, baked beans, and rolls with cinnamon on the top. Breakfast this morning was at the hotel. Free! Cereal, make your own waffles, bagels, drinks, fruits, etc. Yum!
Flew to Minneapolis and wandered there for a few hours. Took a picture of the kids by a Snoopy statue. The kids bought big fancy caramel apples. Back on the plane to Orlando. All told, we traveled or waited for about 9 hours today.
Elizabeth used the wheelchair all day. Wise choice.
Visited M&M World again. Spent money. Also bought Cherry Coke at the mall.
Had supper at Buca di Beppo. Nice supper, good price. For all 4 of us to eat, with appetizer, dinner, drinks, and dessert too, it cost us, with tip, about $75.
Quick stop at the Disney store, back to our hotel room (Florida Hotel and Conference Center), and we crash. :)
AUGUST 26- An eventful day. Up and packed, walked to McD's. Elizabeth in the wheelchair. Back to the hotel in time to surprise the kids with the fact we were taking a stretch limo to the port. Hurt my left shin when I rammed into the wheelchair when it rammed into a chunk of uneven pavement.
Got on the ship no problem, and roamed a bit with the kids. A nice lunch at the Windjammer.
The rooms are smaller than I thought, but adequate.
Kids went swimming in the rain. Very stormy and choppy out. The boat is rocking and swaying a lot this time.
The kids loved the meals and also discovered room service. Son lost his Sea Pass card. Got a hole punched in the new one.
Hubby and I did karaoke. Boot Scoot Boogie for me, Achey Breaky Song and Danny Boy for him.
Smoked fish roullade, horseradish crusted salmon, and BBB crème brulée (banana, bailey's, and brulée) for supper.
No CoCo Cay tomorrow because of Tropical Storm Isaac.
AUGUST 27- Up at 6:45. Kids had room service breakfast, Hubby and I brought food down from the Windjammer. Hubby tried black pudding.
Had a rough day, kind of. Boat doing a lot of up and down today. Made me very dizzy and queasy. Very, very windy. Son and I tried to use the jogging track, but nearly blew away. Daughter's Sea Pass card blew away when she was by the pool.
The kids liked Adventure Ocean. Both also got Sea Pets. A monkey for Son and a dragon for Daughter. Daughter made a monkey cupcake. I bought a chocolate mint cupcake and a maple bacon one.
Bought a Freedom of the Seas sweatshirt.
Lunch was at Johnny Rocket's (chili, burger, and chocolate Coke, yum!).
Daughter had a mani/pedi today.
Supper was scallop au gratin, artichoke crépe au gratin, and bittersweet chocolate soufflé.
The show was Marquee. Very good. Sleeping with the curtains open and the waves pounding the ship. At least I will be rocked to sleep. Silver lining. :)
AUGUST 28- We slept in until 8:30AM. Breakfast at the Windjammer.
Went to the mix and mingle and cabin crawl. Lunch at the Windjammer.
Played a bit at the arcade.
Supper at Chops. Filet mignon, broccolini, mashed potatoes, asparagus, and green beans with dijon and feta. Virgin piña colada and crème brulée. Kids did okay with the meal, but will be happy to return to the dining room tomorrow. The crème brulée was VERY alcoholic. Did not like it, so I did not finish it.
Show tonight was a singer/impressionist. Very good, but not a kid friendly show. Luckily, both kids were at Adventure Ocean instead. Daughter is at a late night youth dance party. Son finally managed to fall asleep despite the Adult 70's dance party in the Promenade just below his window.
Had a chocolate pear tart this afternoon. SO good!!!!!!
AUGUST 29- Today we got up early for our first excursion day, finally. St Thomas, USVI. It was very hot and humid. We all went on the sky ride, then Son and I went up the hill and Hubby and Daughter went down. We looked at their sad mini zoo where the animals were underfed and tortured by the geese, I think.
Went to Wendy's for ice cream, then more shopping (we shopped at the top of the sky ride, too), then on the Screaming Eagle. It was so much fun, and we got SO WET!!! The water was so, so salty! Bought 2 t-shirts, 2 pins, and the Christmas decoration. Son got 2 t-shirts, a colouring book, and a monkey.
Went back to the ship and went swimming.
Dinner was caprese salad, veal t-bone, and tiramisu.
Pirate parade tonight. Son was very cute.
AUGUST 30- Today we were at St Maarten. Again hot, humid, and sunny. Went on the Lord Sheffield tall ship together.
Swam in the ocean. Kind of freaky as it was 10-20 feet deep. Son and I had life vests and snorkel masks and pool noodles. Drifted with the tide and had to swim HARD to get us back to the ship ladder.
Yummy BBQ chicken and ribs, Coke, cookies, and bread with cheese and strawberry.
Both Daughter and I lost our hats to the wind on the ocean just before we returned. A bird flew away with mine when it hit the water. At least we don't need them since it was the last excursion.
Shopped after. Bought a t-shirt, Godiva chocolate, Belgian chocolate (7 pieces), a giant Reese's peanut butter bar, a mini jar of Nutella, a pin, turtle earrings, and a pineapple milk.
The kids came across a dying cat and Daughter was inconsolable for awhile.
Relaxed on the boat. Ate at the Windjammer. Saw Madagascar 3 in 3D, then an ice show, then the Love and Marriage Show.
Hubby has terrible sunburn, and I got some, not nearly as bad, on my back, shoulders, and front where the bikini wasn't.
Yesterday Daughter and Hubby went to swim with sharks. They also snorkeled, so Hubby got badly burned there, then got redder today. Not sure if it's new burn or just continuing cooking from yesterday.
Nice night at sea. Can see stars for the first time. Son heard a whale the other day.
AUGUST 31- Today was fairly relaxing, for most of it anyway. Got up and went to the character breakfast where the kids got pictures with Gloria, King Julien, and Alex. Kids went to Adventure Ocean and I bought t-shirts for Son and watched TV. Had lunch at Johnny Rockets where we found out the chocolate soda was NOT part of the free stuff.
Son had some bad luck with the arcade eating his tokens.
Kids went to Adventure Ocean and I went to my room. Watched TV, slept a tiny bit, and bought a big Ben & Jerry's sundae in a collectible glass. Hubby had been on an all-access tour of the ship.
His sunburn was so bad he was all blistered on his shoulders like I was last time and went half buggy from the itch, just like he did last year. This time he got Benadryl, so felt better soon, but was a total snoozer all evening and night.
The kids and I went to a show (Once Upon a Time), and shopping.
The kids had a huge blowout with each other like Hubby and I had on our last night in Florida last year.
SEPTEMBER 1- Last day on the cruise. Hard to believe it's September already. The day started well enough. Breakfast at the Windjammer, kids to Adventure Ocean, did some packing.
Kids had a talent show. Both sang and got medals.
Lunch in the Windjammer where the kids got to feed Hubby stuff that they thought he may not like. It was fun to watch him choke down a pickle. Took the kids back to Adventure Ocean and played 9 holes of mini golf. Headed out of there to come across Hubby and Daughter.
She broke her ankle. Just lost her footing and snapped it. Poor thing.
Supper was french onion soup, lamb, and chocolate pear crisp.
Bought 2 t-shirts. Packed. Watched the closing show. Kids got picked up from Adventure Ocean, then Daughter went to a pizza party with her friends.
Son got a scrape and bump on his head.
Kids both made a pillowcase.
SEPTEMBER 2- The trip home was long, but fairly uneventful. With Daughter in the wheelchair, and with the soft cast, we got on first and off last for both flights (Orlando to Minneapolis, Minneapolis to Minot), without it affecting our timing much.
We rode in the stretch limo to the airport.
They briefly lost her wheelchair on the second flight, but it was just stowed behind all the other checked luggage. Long drive home, getting back around midnight.
Cats were hiding, but once we found them, they could not stop meowing. :)
Good to be home. Will get the dog back tomorrow.
Next cruise will be at least 4 years away. And probably Alaska.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Short and Sweet
I love berries.
Strawberries, raspberries, saskatoons, blueberries....
Buying them at the grocery store can be expensive.
But I have one big advantage. I have my own strawberry plants in my garden and a small flower garden with half of it full of raspberry canes.
Next year, I think I will also invest in a few blueberry and saskatoon bushes.
This year, my strawberries simply decided not to produce, at least no more than a handful or two, berry-wise.
But the raspberry bushes...WELL!!!!
As my son says "It's like they just can't live without you!", which in child-speak means they are producing at an amazing rate this year. In a mere month, my teeny patch has given me more than 5 POUNDS of berries!
And let me tell you, if you have only tried store-bought raspberries, you have NO IDEA what you are missing! There is NOTHING that tastes quite as good and sweet as a dessert or even a handful made of your own, home-grown, no preservatives added raspberries, fresh from the garden.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Strawberries, raspberries, saskatoons, blueberries....
Buying them at the grocery store can be expensive.
But I have one big advantage. I have my own strawberry plants in my garden and a small flower garden with half of it full of raspberry canes.
Next year, I think I will also invest in a few blueberry and saskatoon bushes.
This year, my strawberries simply decided not to produce, at least no more than a handful or two, berry-wise.
But the raspberry bushes...WELL!!!!
As my son says "It's like they just can't live without you!", which in child-speak means they are producing at an amazing rate this year. In a mere month, my teeny patch has given me more than 5 POUNDS of berries!
And let me tell you, if you have only tried store-bought raspberries, you have NO IDEA what you are missing! There is NOTHING that tastes quite as good and sweet as a dessert or even a handful made of your own, home-grown, no preservatives added raspberries, fresh from the garden.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
In The Group...Yet Not
Well, it is a few months later. I have been in the Mom's Morning Out group since...Christmas-ish, I guess?
In some ways, yes, I am finding it easier to talk to the other ladies, and when we do get together, it is still fun, but in some ways, I realize that my first thought when invited really was true...I don't exactly fit in.
You see, although the majority of them are somewhere around my age, I am finding that I am mostly the only one with older kids. Everyone else has kids in the 1-6 year old range, mostly in the lower end of that. Mine are in the basically 8-12 year range.
Which means they are in a certain stage of things, with certain activities and such that my kids just don't go for anymore. Also, because my kids are older, and everyone else is in the same stage as the others, they get together a lot more often, a lot more easily.
Their kids all get invited to each others' birthdays, playdates, they have lunches together, go to the park together, talk to each other more often because they have their kids in their specific ages in common.
I do try, really I do. But my kids have THEIR activities and THEIR friends and such, and, well, it is hard to get that adult friend time when they are still in the stage of kids needing diapers and naps and in most cases a trip to Timmy's would probably be the stuff of nightmares for them, having to bring little people who need playplaces instead.
I see them all posting about their parties and playdates and posting pictures and thanking each other for great lunches and afternoons and such together, and I must admit, I'm a bit jealous, a bit left out. It's too bad.
I really have to learn how to be the friend THEY need, especially since, in all likelihood, I will be back to work somewhere in the fall and will likely have to drop out of MMO.
I guess I still have too much personal baggage to make good friends yet. Hopefully , with time, I can get over that and be someone they want to spend time with.
Or else my friend in Bolton, my friend in Oshawa, my friend in the Ottawa area, and my friend in the Vancouver area will miraculously all move here. Sure. It could happen.
In some ways, yes, I am finding it easier to talk to the other ladies, and when we do get together, it is still fun, but in some ways, I realize that my first thought when invited really was true...I don't exactly fit in.
You see, although the majority of them are somewhere around my age, I am finding that I am mostly the only one with older kids. Everyone else has kids in the 1-6 year old range, mostly in the lower end of that. Mine are in the basically 8-12 year range.
Which means they are in a certain stage of things, with certain activities and such that my kids just don't go for anymore. Also, because my kids are older, and everyone else is in the same stage as the others, they get together a lot more often, a lot more easily.
Their kids all get invited to each others' birthdays, playdates, they have lunches together, go to the park together, talk to each other more often because they have their kids in their specific ages in common.
I do try, really I do. But my kids have THEIR activities and THEIR friends and such, and, well, it is hard to get that adult friend time when they are still in the stage of kids needing diapers and naps and in most cases a trip to Timmy's would probably be the stuff of nightmares for them, having to bring little people who need playplaces instead.
I see them all posting about their parties and playdates and posting pictures and thanking each other for great lunches and afternoons and such together, and I must admit, I'm a bit jealous, a bit left out. It's too bad.
I really have to learn how to be the friend THEY need, especially since, in all likelihood, I will be back to work somewhere in the fall and will likely have to drop out of MMO.
I guess I still have too much personal baggage to make good friends yet. Hopefully , with time, I can get over that and be someone they want to spend time with.
Or else my friend in Bolton, my friend in Oshawa, my friend in the Ottawa area, and my friend in the Vancouver area will miraculously all move here. Sure. It could happen.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
My Famous Father
I am not sure why this never posted. I believe I posted this quite a few years ago. But here it is. He has now written THREE books...Advertising Murder, Lost Youth, and Murder Express.
Once again, my Dad has been interviewed for a newspaper....I believe this is the second article, plus the radio interview, about his book.
I'm so proud of him. This is what the article says:
"John McKay/Times Colonist
[Pastor Bob Scott, the chaplain of the Langford Volunteer Fire Department, with his recently released novel, a book that’s noteworthy for an exciting plot written without profanity or gratuitous sex scenes.]
He believes in miracles
Mystery-writing chaplain encountered an answer to his prayers at a writers’ convention
BY LAUREL BERNARD
Bob Scott, a 60-year-old Langford resident, decided to write a mystery novel. He wrote it in a month, took it to a writers’ conference, got a 10-minute pitch interview with a New York publisher’s editorial director and, nine months later, had a three-book contract with royalties and a healthy advance cheque.
“It just amazes me that it happened the way it did,” Scott says. “I think I said, ‘Sure, thanks very much,’ and stood up, and the world just kind of started to spin.” How on earth, you ask, did he do it? It was easy, aspiring writers. All it took was a miracle.
Bob Scott, author of the just launched Advertising Murder from Avalon Books, is a former pastor of the Congregational Christian Churches in Canada and still preaches every Sunday at two seniors’ residences, West Shore Lodge and Alexander Mackie Lodge. He and his wife, Shirley, believe in the power of prayer.
They both prayed over the book project, especially when the manuscript was sent off to New York, although, as Bob Scott says, the prayer was more “your will be done, not a ‘give it to me.’ It always works for me.”
Initially, he says, “I wouldn’t say I was praying, ‘Dear Lord, make this a successful book.’ I was essentially going through the process to see what kind of suggestions I might get from an editor.” But Shirley certainly was praying “just for success” on the book, and Bob believes there’s a pattern in life.
I would say everything is part of the plan. I’ve been feeling it is part of the plan.”
Scott was born and raised in Montreal and, after getting a BA at what is now Concordia University, took his Master of Divinity at McGill. Three years after he became a minister, he went to a Billy Graham film.
“It made a change in my whole approach to my ministry and life and everything else. Over the course of the ministry from that period on — that would be 36 years this year — there were a number of things that took place in our lives that I would call miraculous.”
When he was living in Fernie, his son, then 18 months old, badly burned himself. He was hospitalized and doctors expected he’d have to endure many operations and skin grafts over the course of a long recovery. But five days later, after friends and his parents prayed and fasted, he was healing so quickly that the hospital was ready to send him home. He’s never had plastic surgery or skin grafts.
Then there was the operation Shirley was supposed to have. In the morning she was admitted into hospital and scheduled for surgery, but by day’s end, they’d sent her home. “The doctor said I was fine,” she says. Again, the Scotts and their friends had prayed for her to heal.
Bob, too, had a providential escape. One the reasons he started his book in 2003 was because he’d just received bad news: a bladder cancer diagnosis. It was discovered thanks to a mysterious and still undiagnosed infection, was treated and “within five months of the diagnosis, I was completely clean.” He’s been free of the disease for four years now.
Besides the power of prayer, you might argue the Scotts have also built up a lot of good karma. Shirley is a special-needs teacher’s aide at Pacific Christian School and, besides paid part-time work with Sands funeral services, Bob holds administrative positions with the Congregational Christian Churches in Canada and volunteers as secretary to the Colwood Rotary Club and chaplain to the Langford Volunteer Fire Department.
OK, but Advertising Murder’s success can’t have been that miraculous. Bob Scott probably spent years turning out manuscripts, sweating blood over each line.
Scott writes a monthly article in Ladder a fire department newsletter, and has written humour pieces and other short articles. AdvertisingMurder is his first full-length work. After writing it in a month, as a participant in National Novel Writing Month, he edited the manuscript during 2004’s National Novel Editing Month. He loves to write, loses himself in it:
“When I’m writing, I know I’ve got a manuscript that has to go out, but the excitement of seeing or feeling a story unfold … I go into another world.”
So he must have knocked on hundreds of publishers’ doors, right? And then he selected Avalon and honed his pitch to perfection.
In fact, Avalon was the first and only publisher he approached. He wrote his pitch to editorial director Erin Cartwright-Niumata on hotel notepaper the night before.
Then he probably has one of those careers designed for writing crime fiction. He can write about what he knows — just like John Grisham, who was once a lawyer, or Patricia Cornwell, who worked in forensic science.
Jack Elton, Advertising Murder’s hero, is an ex-cop. “My only police experience,” says Scott, “was in Expo 67. I was a security guard on the minirail at Montreal.”
What about Avalon? It sells to libraries and has editorial rules restricting drinking, profanity and sex in the 60 books per year they produce. The editing process was probably difficult.
“They’re a very easy company to work with,” Scott says. On his first book, the editing suggestions consisted of a single sheet read over the phone and then a few followup points. In any case, based on his own values, Scott is comfortable with Avalon’s approach — not that he chose Avalon because of it or wrote his mystery with a moral intent. It just happened to be a match made, well, in heaven.
At this point, the publication of Advertising Murder does begin to look like divine intervention. But don’t give up hope, because Scott’s story also exemplifies the axiom that God helps those who help themselves. Bob Scott worked hard at the project and made some very smart decisions.
For aspiring writers, here are some of his steps to success.
1. He joined the Crime Writers of Canada: “It was the best $100 I ever spent.” Besides all the resources on their website, the organization provided priceless publicity and contacts.
2. He signed up for the magazine Writer’s Digest, joined its book club and immersed himself in other writingrelated sites, listservs and research books. By the time he got to the pitch, he’d already read advice on how to do it.
3. He belongs to a writer’s group that meets weekly from September to June. Shirley read his manuscript, too, and, Scott says, “does a good job of pointing out basic errors” as well as helping with syntax and spelling.
4. He’s dedicated and has good work habits. Scott’s preferred writing time is midnight till 4 a.m. For example, on Wednesday he might write from midnight until 6 a.m. the next day, go to his Rotary meeting, come back, sleep a little, and then write in the evening. He feels comfortable if he’s written 2,000 words a day.
5. He goes to the annual Surrey International Writers’ Conference. Scott says it’s a standout among these types of events, and it’s where he pitched his manuscript.
6. He offered what an in-house editor wanted. He says of Cartwright-Niumata: “I’ve heard comments from her like, ‘Your stories are well written.’”
When she was asked about Scott, she sent back this message through her assistant Faith Black — and there’s hope in it for all aspiring writers:
“Erin met Bob at the Surrey writers’ conference in Vancouver, and they had a great meeting. Bob delivered a great pitch on his book, and Erin knew she wanted to work with him before even reading anything. It was a good, short pitch that reeled her in and got her interested in the project.
“If you write well and you submit properly (following the correct guidelines for submission), anyone can write for Avalon. We are always looking for new and first-time authors.”"
Those of you who have not yet read this book, and like a good murder mystery, I seriously urge you to find this first book and read it....it's funny, intriguing, just an all-round good read. I kept shaking my head every few chapters as I reminded myself that my FATHER had written this book. It was wonderful! I await his next two books with impatience, and hope he will have the opportunity to publish even more after that series is done.
Once again, my Dad has been interviewed for a newspaper....I believe this is the second article, plus the radio interview, about his book.
I'm so proud of him. This is what the article says:
"John McKay/Times Colonist
[Pastor Bob Scott, the chaplain of the Langford Volunteer Fire Department, with his recently released novel, a book that’s noteworthy for an exciting plot written without profanity or gratuitous sex scenes.]
He believes in miracles
Mystery-writing chaplain encountered an answer to his prayers at a writers’ convention
BY LAUREL BERNARD
Bob Scott, a 60-year-old Langford resident, decided to write a mystery novel. He wrote it in a month, took it to a writers’ conference, got a 10-minute pitch interview with a New York publisher’s editorial director and, nine months later, had a three-book contract with royalties and a healthy advance cheque.
“It just amazes me that it happened the way it did,” Scott says. “I think I said, ‘Sure, thanks very much,’ and stood up, and the world just kind of started to spin.” How on earth, you ask, did he do it? It was easy, aspiring writers. All it took was a miracle.
Bob Scott, author of the just launched Advertising Murder from Avalon Books, is a former pastor of the Congregational Christian Churches in Canada and still preaches every Sunday at two seniors’ residences, West Shore Lodge and Alexander Mackie Lodge. He and his wife, Shirley, believe in the power of prayer.
They both prayed over the book project, especially when the manuscript was sent off to New York, although, as Bob Scott says, the prayer was more “your will be done, not a ‘give it to me.’ It always works for me.”
Initially, he says, “I wouldn’t say I was praying, ‘Dear Lord, make this a successful book.’ I was essentially going through the process to see what kind of suggestions I might get from an editor.” But Shirley certainly was praying “just for success” on the book, and Bob believes there’s a pattern in life.
I would say everything is part of the plan. I’ve been feeling it is part of the plan.”
Scott was born and raised in Montreal and, after getting a BA at what is now Concordia University, took his Master of Divinity at McGill. Three years after he became a minister, he went to a Billy Graham film.
“It made a change in my whole approach to my ministry and life and everything else. Over the course of the ministry from that period on — that would be 36 years this year — there were a number of things that took place in our lives that I would call miraculous.”
When he was living in Fernie, his son, then 18 months old, badly burned himself. He was hospitalized and doctors expected he’d have to endure many operations and skin grafts over the course of a long recovery. But five days later, after friends and his parents prayed and fasted, he was healing so quickly that the hospital was ready to send him home. He’s never had plastic surgery or skin grafts.
Then there was the operation Shirley was supposed to have. In the morning she was admitted into hospital and scheduled for surgery, but by day’s end, they’d sent her home. “The doctor said I was fine,” she says. Again, the Scotts and their friends had prayed for her to heal.
Bob, too, had a providential escape. One the reasons he started his book in 2003 was because he’d just received bad news: a bladder cancer diagnosis. It was discovered thanks to a mysterious and still undiagnosed infection, was treated and “within five months of the diagnosis, I was completely clean.” He’s been free of the disease for four years now.
Besides the power of prayer, you might argue the Scotts have also built up a lot of good karma. Shirley is a special-needs teacher’s aide at Pacific Christian School and, besides paid part-time work with Sands funeral services, Bob holds administrative positions with the Congregational Christian Churches in Canada and volunteers as secretary to the Colwood Rotary Club and chaplain to the Langford Volunteer Fire Department.
OK, but Advertising Murder’s success can’t have been that miraculous. Bob Scott probably spent years turning out manuscripts, sweating blood over each line.
Scott writes a monthly article in Ladder a fire department newsletter, and has written humour pieces and other short articles. AdvertisingMurder is his first full-length work. After writing it in a month, as a participant in National Novel Writing Month, he edited the manuscript during 2004’s National Novel Editing Month. He loves to write, loses himself in it:
“When I’m writing, I know I’ve got a manuscript that has to go out, but the excitement of seeing or feeling a story unfold … I go into another world.”
So he must have knocked on hundreds of publishers’ doors, right? And then he selected Avalon and honed his pitch to perfection.
In fact, Avalon was the first and only publisher he approached. He wrote his pitch to editorial director Erin Cartwright-Niumata on hotel notepaper the night before.
Then he probably has one of those careers designed for writing crime fiction. He can write about what he knows — just like John Grisham, who was once a lawyer, or Patricia Cornwell, who worked in forensic science.
Jack Elton, Advertising Murder’s hero, is an ex-cop. “My only police experience,” says Scott, “was in Expo 67. I was a security guard on the minirail at Montreal.”
What about Avalon? It sells to libraries and has editorial rules restricting drinking, profanity and sex in the 60 books per year they produce. The editing process was probably difficult.
“They’re a very easy company to work with,” Scott says. On his first book, the editing suggestions consisted of a single sheet read over the phone and then a few followup points. In any case, based on his own values, Scott is comfortable with Avalon’s approach — not that he chose Avalon because of it or wrote his mystery with a moral intent. It just happened to be a match made, well, in heaven.
At this point, the publication of Advertising Murder does begin to look like divine intervention. But don’t give up hope, because Scott’s story also exemplifies the axiom that God helps those who help themselves. Bob Scott worked hard at the project and made some very smart decisions.
For aspiring writers, here are some of his steps to success.
1. He joined the Crime Writers of Canada: “It was the best $100 I ever spent.” Besides all the resources on their website, the organization provided priceless publicity and contacts.
2. He signed up for the magazine Writer’s Digest, joined its book club and immersed himself in other writingrelated sites, listservs and research books. By the time he got to the pitch, he’d already read advice on how to do it.
3. He belongs to a writer’s group that meets weekly from September to June. Shirley read his manuscript, too, and, Scott says, “does a good job of pointing out basic errors” as well as helping with syntax and spelling.
4. He’s dedicated and has good work habits. Scott’s preferred writing time is midnight till 4 a.m. For example, on Wednesday he might write from midnight until 6 a.m. the next day, go to his Rotary meeting, come back, sleep a little, and then write in the evening. He feels comfortable if he’s written 2,000 words a day.
5. He goes to the annual Surrey International Writers’ Conference. Scott says it’s a standout among these types of events, and it’s where he pitched his manuscript.
6. He offered what an in-house editor wanted. He says of Cartwright-Niumata: “I’ve heard comments from her like, ‘Your stories are well written.’”
When she was asked about Scott, she sent back this message through her assistant Faith Black — and there’s hope in it for all aspiring writers:
“Erin met Bob at the Surrey writers’ conference in Vancouver, and they had a great meeting. Bob delivered a great pitch on his book, and Erin knew she wanted to work with him before even reading anything. It was a good, short pitch that reeled her in and got her interested in the project.
“If you write well and you submit properly (following the correct guidelines for submission), anyone can write for Avalon. We are always looking for new and first-time authors.”"
Those of you who have not yet read this book, and like a good murder mystery, I seriously urge you to find this first book and read it....it's funny, intriguing, just an all-round good read. I kept shaking my head every few chapters as I reminded myself that my FATHER had written this book. It was wonderful! I await his next two books with impatience, and hope he will have the opportunity to publish even more after that series is done.
The Agony and the Ecstacy
Things have been a little crazy lately.
It started about 8 weeks ago, when Daughter missed a step and fell on the stairs in our house. Her foot hurt, but she just walked it off. The next morning, while delivering papers, she tripped again, and this time was not able to walk it off.
This started a series of visits to the doctor. Very frustrating ones. She had wrapped her ankle in a tensor bandage, and hopped around with crutches for a few days with no results. The first visit to the doctor brought x-rays. Nothing showed up, so we were told nothing was broken, go home, rest for a week, all would be fine.
A week went by. No improvement could be seen. So we went back. We were referred to have an ultrasound done. They thought maybe it could be torn tendons. They searched all over her foot, causing great pain, then called the radiologist in to do his own scan. Another full foot search, more pain, Mommy is about ready to pick her daughter up like the Hulk and walk out. Nothing. No sign of tendon damage. They say maybe torn ligaments, but ultrasound won't pick that up. They write a report for the doctor, and send us home. We wait to hear back from the doctor for further referrals and testing.
One week. No calls. She is now not only in pain in the one foot, but the OTHER foot is beginning to have issues. We figure it is because of her being on the crutches, and compensating, overloading the second foot. We go back. We demand to be referred to a specialist. He tells us he already did. We tell him, no, we saw the ultrasound people, they found nothing, so we need something else. He says no, they found nothing, so there is nothing. I push, he supposedly writes a new referral, and waves us out the door with both of us practically in tears of pain, frustration, or both.
We wait almost a week. Nothing.
Then she collapses. The pain is so bad she cannot stand at all, let alone walk or use crutches. Hubby takes her to the ER where someone finally takes the time to try to get her some help. She is referred to an orthopedist, but it will be another week. So we get moving and find ourselves a used wheelchair....Daughter is 5'1"and just over 100 pounds. She is not a child I can carry around, and also she needs to be able to go to school, finish the school year, though her sports at that point became a dream of the past. Too bad...she had trained hard over the winter to be a pitcher in softball this spring.
A week goes by, we return to the hospital for our appointment with the orthopedist. He is very nice, and proceeds to move Daughter's feet every which way, making her squeal out in pain and nearly burst into tears. He announces there is nothing physically wrong with her feet, and refers us to a pediatrician who is on his rounds. So we are moved to a different room and wait an hour. The pediatrician comes in, checks her over, asks questions, checks areas that weren't even near her feet (he checked those, too, though), and asks if we had any history of rheumatoid arthritis in the family!
At that time, I couldn't think of anyone, so I said no, but when I got home, I discovered that yes, there was one relative I had overlooked...a cousin of my father who had it quite severely, in fact, and had begun having issues with it when she was 20, confining her permanently to a wheelchair, and cutting her life short from complications in her 40's. Not what I wanted to hear.
In any case, the pediatrician gave us a prescription to reduce the inflammation and called for a dozen or more blood tests to confirm, and likely to rule out a few things as well, so we wheeled her down to the lab where they drained her of all her blood (it sure felt like it...it was a very large sample they took, in any case). We have an appointment for follow-up next Monday. He was sounding pretty certain that his diagnosis is correct.
I am trying to remain positive for my daughter. I am not a patient person, however. I keep asking her how her feet are feeling (she has been on the meds for 6 days), and she says they still hurt A LOT. They hurt a LITTLE less than before. Not they feel great, not they feel a lot better, and she isn't getting back to normal like I want her to. She can stand for a few minutes now, and she can walk around the house for maybe 5-10 minutes, but then she sinks to the ground and crawls for the rest of the day (our house is not wheelchair accessible, so at home she crawls, in public she is in the chair, though that has not been so easy of an experience, either, as she explains in her blog, http://accessibilityadventures.blogspot.ca/
On Sunday, she showed her true grit. We had signed up, several months ago, for a 5km run, as we have done every year for the past 3 years. Obviously, she was not going to be able to run. But the brochure said wheelchair participants welcome. So she went. And she rolled. And she pushed herself in that chair as best she could. We did that 5k. When her arms couldn't do it anymore, she would put her hands in her lap, and I would take over and push, while jogging, for a few minutes, until she was ready to roll herself again. She worked HARD on that 5k, over cracked pavement, around potholes, up and down little inclines, over crooked streets that made her chair constantly drift towards the sidewalks. We made it to the finish line in 47 minutes and 33 seconds. And she was cheered in by every participant that had finished before we did. And she was the ONLY wheelchair participant that day. I was so proud of her. SHE was so proud of her!
I have to give her credit. She has been so strong through all of this. It has been so frustrating for her. She had to bow out of this year's softball season, halfway through. She is missing a 3-day camping trip with her class at school because it is not at all wheelchair accessible. She may have to miss her Girl Guide camp next week, if she doesn't see massive improvement. Her teacher made her stay at school while the rest got to go see a magician at the other school, instead of asking if I'd come and drive her (If I had known she was going to be left behind, BELIEVE ME, I would have been there to drive her!). It is harder to get around, go places, do things, and the worst part of all is that children are CRUEL. The number of kids at school who have accused her of faking this is unbelievable. She has had her wheelchair pushed into walls (with her in it) by boys, has been sneered at, has been told to "just get up and walk".
I hope with every fibre of my being that, not only will she have a fast recovery, but the other kids will realize that this is for real, and that if she could get up and walk, she WOULD.
It started about 8 weeks ago, when Daughter missed a step and fell on the stairs in our house. Her foot hurt, but she just walked it off. The next morning, while delivering papers, she tripped again, and this time was not able to walk it off.
This started a series of visits to the doctor. Very frustrating ones. She had wrapped her ankle in a tensor bandage, and hopped around with crutches for a few days with no results. The first visit to the doctor brought x-rays. Nothing showed up, so we were told nothing was broken, go home, rest for a week, all would be fine.
A week went by. No improvement could be seen. So we went back. We were referred to have an ultrasound done. They thought maybe it could be torn tendons. They searched all over her foot, causing great pain, then called the radiologist in to do his own scan. Another full foot search, more pain, Mommy is about ready to pick her daughter up like the Hulk and walk out. Nothing. No sign of tendon damage. They say maybe torn ligaments, but ultrasound won't pick that up. They write a report for the doctor, and send us home. We wait to hear back from the doctor for further referrals and testing.
One week. No calls. She is now not only in pain in the one foot, but the OTHER foot is beginning to have issues. We figure it is because of her being on the crutches, and compensating, overloading the second foot. We go back. We demand to be referred to a specialist. He tells us he already did. We tell him, no, we saw the ultrasound people, they found nothing, so we need something else. He says no, they found nothing, so there is nothing. I push, he supposedly writes a new referral, and waves us out the door with both of us practically in tears of pain, frustration, or both.
We wait almost a week. Nothing.
Then she collapses. The pain is so bad she cannot stand at all, let alone walk or use crutches. Hubby takes her to the ER where someone finally takes the time to try to get her some help. She is referred to an orthopedist, but it will be another week. So we get moving and find ourselves a used wheelchair....Daughter is 5'1"and just over 100 pounds. She is not a child I can carry around, and also she needs to be able to go to school, finish the school year, though her sports at that point became a dream of the past. Too bad...she had trained hard over the winter to be a pitcher in softball this spring.
A week goes by, we return to the hospital for our appointment with the orthopedist. He is very nice, and proceeds to move Daughter's feet every which way, making her squeal out in pain and nearly burst into tears. He announces there is nothing physically wrong with her feet, and refers us to a pediatrician who is on his rounds. So we are moved to a different room and wait an hour. The pediatrician comes in, checks her over, asks questions, checks areas that weren't even near her feet (he checked those, too, though), and asks if we had any history of rheumatoid arthritis in the family!
At that time, I couldn't think of anyone, so I said no, but when I got home, I discovered that yes, there was one relative I had overlooked...a cousin of my father who had it quite severely, in fact, and had begun having issues with it when she was 20, confining her permanently to a wheelchair, and cutting her life short from complications in her 40's. Not what I wanted to hear.
In any case, the pediatrician gave us a prescription to reduce the inflammation and called for a dozen or more blood tests to confirm, and likely to rule out a few things as well, so we wheeled her down to the lab where they drained her of all her blood (it sure felt like it...it was a very large sample they took, in any case). We have an appointment for follow-up next Monday. He was sounding pretty certain that his diagnosis is correct.
I am trying to remain positive for my daughter. I am not a patient person, however. I keep asking her how her feet are feeling (she has been on the meds for 6 days), and she says they still hurt A LOT. They hurt a LITTLE less than before. Not they feel great, not they feel a lot better, and she isn't getting back to normal like I want her to. She can stand for a few minutes now, and she can walk around the house for maybe 5-10 minutes, but then she sinks to the ground and crawls for the rest of the day (our house is not wheelchair accessible, so at home she crawls, in public she is in the chair, though that has not been so easy of an experience, either, as she explains in her blog, http://accessibilityadventures.blogspot.ca/
On Sunday, she showed her true grit. We had signed up, several months ago, for a 5km run, as we have done every year for the past 3 years. Obviously, she was not going to be able to run. But the brochure said wheelchair participants welcome. So she went. And she rolled. And she pushed herself in that chair as best she could. We did that 5k. When her arms couldn't do it anymore, she would put her hands in her lap, and I would take over and push, while jogging, for a few minutes, until she was ready to roll herself again. She worked HARD on that 5k, over cracked pavement, around potholes, up and down little inclines, over crooked streets that made her chair constantly drift towards the sidewalks. We made it to the finish line in 47 minutes and 33 seconds. And she was cheered in by every participant that had finished before we did. And she was the ONLY wheelchair participant that day. I was so proud of her. SHE was so proud of her!
I have to give her credit. She has been so strong through all of this. It has been so frustrating for her. She had to bow out of this year's softball season, halfway through. She is missing a 3-day camping trip with her class at school because it is not at all wheelchair accessible. She may have to miss her Girl Guide camp next week, if she doesn't see massive improvement. Her teacher made her stay at school while the rest got to go see a magician at the other school, instead of asking if I'd come and drive her (If I had known she was going to be left behind, BELIEVE ME, I would have been there to drive her!). It is harder to get around, go places, do things, and the worst part of all is that children are CRUEL. The number of kids at school who have accused her of faking this is unbelievable. She has had her wheelchair pushed into walls (with her in it) by boys, has been sneered at, has been told to "just get up and walk".
I hope with every fibre of my being that, not only will she have a fast recovery, but the other kids will realize that this is for real, and that if she could get up and walk, she WOULD.
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Joy of Friendship
I just came back from a wonderful evening out. You have no idea how much I needed this evening out.
It started out when my new friend from Quebec, in the Mom's group, invited me to go see The Vow with her, as she had a 2-for-1 coupon. So I of course said yes, and looked forward to the time out with her. Then another friend from Mom's Morning Out was coming, too. Awesome! :) Then SHE posted to the while Mom's group. We ended up a group of 5.
It was so much fun...the theatre was mostly empty...I think there were maybe 4 others in the theatre with us. We laughed, we commented, we groaned and moaned and sniffled and sobbed and passed kleenex to each other and even laughed at each other.
Just that part of it was wonderful...to be able to go out with a group that is around my age, no husbands, no kids, and just fool around, have fun, and relax together.
The movie ended around 8:10, so we decided we weren't ready to go home yet. So we fooled around in the lobby, posing with the 3 Stooges giant punching bag and taking pictures with it, then shivered in the parking lot for a few minutes, debating where to go. We first tried a Tim Horton's, but there was no seating. So after about 5 more minutes of debating and joking, we headed out to the nearest McDonalds instead...except that I took a wrong turn and so arrived about 5 minutes after the rest as I drove up and down streets that annoyingly had no break in the median that would allow me to turn in the right direction. Even that was fun, as I was driving someone else in my van, so we laughed at our winding little adventure, and eventually did get there.
Inside McDonalds, we all ordered a hot drink, and most also got a muffin or cinnamon bun. We crammed into a booth for 4 with a chair at the end and we talked...and laughed...and joked..and talked..and laughed some more. We got to know each other better and had a wonderful time.
And then when it was time to go home, we stood there another few minutes, discussing how to make this a regular thing. I think maybe we ALL needed a night like tonight.
There are no words to describe what a wonderful time I had tonight, or how good it feels to be building up such a wonderful group of friends. I'm so glad I have started stepping out of my shell...the risk certainly has been worth it so far! :)
It started out when my new friend from Quebec, in the Mom's group, invited me to go see The Vow with her, as she had a 2-for-1 coupon. So I of course said yes, and looked forward to the time out with her. Then another friend from Mom's Morning Out was coming, too. Awesome! :) Then SHE posted to the while Mom's group. We ended up a group of 5.
It was so much fun...the theatre was mostly empty...I think there were maybe 4 others in the theatre with us. We laughed, we commented, we groaned and moaned and sniffled and sobbed and passed kleenex to each other and even laughed at each other.
Just that part of it was wonderful...to be able to go out with a group that is around my age, no husbands, no kids, and just fool around, have fun, and relax together.
The movie ended around 8:10, so we decided we weren't ready to go home yet. So we fooled around in the lobby, posing with the 3 Stooges giant punching bag and taking pictures with it, then shivered in the parking lot for a few minutes, debating where to go. We first tried a Tim Horton's, but there was no seating. So after about 5 more minutes of debating and joking, we headed out to the nearest McDonalds instead...except that I took a wrong turn and so arrived about 5 minutes after the rest as I drove up and down streets that annoyingly had no break in the median that would allow me to turn in the right direction. Even that was fun, as I was driving someone else in my van, so we laughed at our winding little adventure, and eventually did get there.
Inside McDonalds, we all ordered a hot drink, and most also got a muffin or cinnamon bun. We crammed into a booth for 4 with a chair at the end and we talked...and laughed...and joked..and talked..and laughed some more. We got to know each other better and had a wonderful time.
And then when it was time to go home, we stood there another few minutes, discussing how to make this a regular thing. I think maybe we ALL needed a night like tonight.
There are no words to describe what a wonderful time I had tonight, or how good it feels to be building up such a wonderful group of friends. I'm so glad I have started stepping out of my shell...the risk certainly has been worth it so far! :)
Monday, February 20, 2012
Continuing to Grow
I wrote last month about joining a Mom's group at my church, about how hard it is for me to step out and set myself up to be rejected.
Things have continued to go well. Having taken the step to get out of my comfort zone, I have found that I LOVE going to the group. I love spending the time with the other ladies, I love chatting with everyone, I love the feeling of actually CONNECTING for once, with the ladies of my church and age group.
A couple of weeks ago, at the Mom's group, I met another lady, a few years younger than myself, but still close to my age (I believe we are about 7 years apart, though I could be wrong). She just recently moved from Quebec, and she doesn't feel she can speak too much English yet, though the English she speaks is very good, in my opinion. In any case, I was really excited to have met someone else who could speak French...she as her native language, myself as a second language. So I took the big step of approaching her and asking her a question about herself...in French. She was delighted! Since then, we have friended each other on Facebook, seen and talked to each other at church, and are set to have coffee tomorrow morning. And we always speak in French. Which I LOVE!!!!
I was also able to help her out in an unexpected way...she just got a job and so will need child care. Not having used child care myself, I didn't immediately know of any way to help her...and then it occurred to me...I knew someone who had been in my Chorus who had done child care, AND she had a French background, so was completely bilingual. So I once again stepped out of my comfort zone and phoned this person, which was REALLY hard for me to do. It's weird...I have this phobia of phoning people, even when I know that person. And it turned out that yes, she still does childcare, and yes, she DOES have spaces. My French friend was over the moon when I told her and gave her the name and number.
I have started accepting (AND receiving) more invitations to events, and so am getting to know people better, and meeting more people as well...and I guess having people know more about ME in the process....at church yesterday, when I stopped to talk to my friend, there were two other francophone ladies that I knew from the 5 years I have been at that church who were THRILLED (and surprised) to hear that I knew how to speak French. And who said we should speak in French together sometimes. (Yesssssssss!!!!) Last night, I went to a Pampered Chef party where it was a room full of people I had never met or really didn't know past sight...and I was there 3 hours and talked to at least 1/4 of the ladies there in fair depth.
It's still really hard to step out and allow myself to be seen, heard, and take the risk of being rejected or ignored, but I'm finding that when I do manage to take that step, that it is, for the most part, turning out fairly well. I still sit alone at church. I still don't feel comfortable with inviting people over for coffee out of the blue (and my house is not exactly in "come on in" condition...still have slob tendencies)....but I think, given time, I'm going to get there.
Things have continued to go well. Having taken the step to get out of my comfort zone, I have found that I LOVE going to the group. I love spending the time with the other ladies, I love chatting with everyone, I love the feeling of actually CONNECTING for once, with the ladies of my church and age group.
A couple of weeks ago, at the Mom's group, I met another lady, a few years younger than myself, but still close to my age (I believe we are about 7 years apart, though I could be wrong). She just recently moved from Quebec, and she doesn't feel she can speak too much English yet, though the English she speaks is very good, in my opinion. In any case, I was really excited to have met someone else who could speak French...she as her native language, myself as a second language. So I took the big step of approaching her and asking her a question about herself...in French. She was delighted! Since then, we have friended each other on Facebook, seen and talked to each other at church, and are set to have coffee tomorrow morning. And we always speak in French. Which I LOVE!!!!
I was also able to help her out in an unexpected way...she just got a job and so will need child care. Not having used child care myself, I didn't immediately know of any way to help her...and then it occurred to me...I knew someone who had been in my Chorus who had done child care, AND she had a French background, so was completely bilingual. So I once again stepped out of my comfort zone and phoned this person, which was REALLY hard for me to do. It's weird...I have this phobia of phoning people, even when I know that person. And it turned out that yes, she still does childcare, and yes, she DOES have spaces. My French friend was over the moon when I told her and gave her the name and number.
I have started accepting (AND receiving) more invitations to events, and so am getting to know people better, and meeting more people as well...and I guess having people know more about ME in the process....at church yesterday, when I stopped to talk to my friend, there were two other francophone ladies that I knew from the 5 years I have been at that church who were THRILLED (and surprised) to hear that I knew how to speak French. And who said we should speak in French together sometimes. (Yesssssssss!!!!) Last night, I went to a Pampered Chef party where it was a room full of people I had never met or really didn't know past sight...and I was there 3 hours and talked to at least 1/4 of the ladies there in fair depth.
It's still really hard to step out and allow myself to be seen, heard, and take the risk of being rejected or ignored, but I'm finding that when I do manage to take that step, that it is, for the most part, turning out fairly well. I still sit alone at church. I still don't feel comfortable with inviting people over for coffee out of the blue (and my house is not exactly in "come on in" condition...still have slob tendencies)....but I think, given time, I'm going to get there.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Stepping Out, Stepping Up?
In the past years, I have noticed a certain trend in my life. I used to move around a lot, and every place I ended up, I made new friends. I still have good friends from every place I have lived from Grade One through university. But then there was a very disturbing trend.
I got married. I am still married. and he is a great guy. But though we moved several times, I can't really say I made many new friends. I have no friends from the first place we lived, two friends from the second place we lived (and even then, our communication is spotty...one of those friends has had cancer for at least a year, and I had no idea, the other I "talk" to on Facebook, but I wouldn't say we are CLOSE friends (not that we have a poor friendship, but I'd say we border on friendly acquaintance at this point)), and we have lived in our present city since summer 2001 and I have to say I don't really think I could say I have any real FRIENDS here. I have a lot of people I am friendly with. In Chorus, we all get along, and they are SORT OF friends...we have a lot of fun together at rehearsals, performances, competitions, and parties....but outside of that, we don't really interact. We don't go for coffee one-on-one, we don't phone each other to chat, and in fact in the past little while, I've been the youngest, to the extent that I think they all are closer to my parents' or grandparents' ages. I have one person from my old church here in town that I get together with for coffee once in a blue moon, and interact with on Facebook...but again, she is more of a mentor-friend. She is my Mom's age, or close to it.
It seems that since I got married I kind of folded in on myself, didn't reach out to find someone to connect with. And since my husband is a bit of a loner himself, it's not like we go out with anyone our age together, and with him being so busy, he often doesn't have time to just HANG OUT with me. And lately that has really been getting to me. I have been feeling really alone, really isolated, and with the issues I have had at church, I have been feeling really frustrated, depressed, and especially lonely. I don't think people MEAN to do it, but people sort of avoid me, because they aren't really sure what to say or do to help us. I can clear a whole section of the church easily...I sit and by the time church starts, the majority of the people are sitting in a different section.
So anyway. Just before Christmas, someone I know on Facebook (and at church), invited me to a potluck for something called "Mom's Morning Out". Until then, I had been under the impression that it was for moms with little ones. Which makes sense, considering pretty much all of them DO have little ones. But I was assured that any mom could come. So I went. And I met a few people. And I got invited to a cookie exchange. And I joined the group and so went back today (the first meeting since the potluck). I knew most of the ladies there. I think most of them are a few years younger than I am, but they are a lot closer to my age than the people in Chorus, and even though my children are in school, and past the "little people"stage, I was able to blend in, converse, not look like a total dweeb. And it was wonderful.
I think that this is the first step in a good thing. In taking that big step to get out of my comfort zone, not hide, and GO to the group, I think I have opened the door to maybe making some good friends again. I hope so! Also, it will be nice to have a place to go, where everyone understands the challenges and frustrations of being a Mom, where we can talk and come up with good advice for each other.And I got to hold babies today. :) I don't want any more of my own, I'm done with that, but it's fun to hold and play with the little ones, to make them smile and laugh.
I'm glad I joined the group. And here's hoping I can get back into the swing of things and make some friends in my own age group, my own stage of life...maybe even make some REALLY good friends, in time. I hope, I hope, I hope.
I got married. I am still married. and he is a great guy. But though we moved several times, I can't really say I made many new friends. I have no friends from the first place we lived, two friends from the second place we lived (and even then, our communication is spotty...one of those friends has had cancer for at least a year, and I had no idea, the other I "talk" to on Facebook, but I wouldn't say we are CLOSE friends (not that we have a poor friendship, but I'd say we border on friendly acquaintance at this point)), and we have lived in our present city since summer 2001 and I have to say I don't really think I could say I have any real FRIENDS here. I have a lot of people I am friendly with. In Chorus, we all get along, and they are SORT OF friends...we have a lot of fun together at rehearsals, performances, competitions, and parties....but outside of that, we don't really interact. We don't go for coffee one-on-one, we don't phone each other to chat, and in fact in the past little while, I've been the youngest, to the extent that I think they all are closer to my parents' or grandparents' ages. I have one person from my old church here in town that I get together with for coffee once in a blue moon, and interact with on Facebook...but again, she is more of a mentor-friend. She is my Mom's age, or close to it.
It seems that since I got married I kind of folded in on myself, didn't reach out to find someone to connect with. And since my husband is a bit of a loner himself, it's not like we go out with anyone our age together, and with him being so busy, he often doesn't have time to just HANG OUT with me. And lately that has really been getting to me. I have been feeling really alone, really isolated, and with the issues I have had at church, I have been feeling really frustrated, depressed, and especially lonely. I don't think people MEAN to do it, but people sort of avoid me, because they aren't really sure what to say or do to help us. I can clear a whole section of the church easily...I sit and by the time church starts, the majority of the people are sitting in a different section.
So anyway. Just before Christmas, someone I know on Facebook (and at church), invited me to a potluck for something called "Mom's Morning Out". Until then, I had been under the impression that it was for moms with little ones. Which makes sense, considering pretty much all of them DO have little ones. But I was assured that any mom could come. So I went. And I met a few people. And I got invited to a cookie exchange. And I joined the group and so went back today (the first meeting since the potluck). I knew most of the ladies there. I think most of them are a few years younger than I am, but they are a lot closer to my age than the people in Chorus, and even though my children are in school, and past the "little people"stage, I was able to blend in, converse, not look like a total dweeb. And it was wonderful.
I think that this is the first step in a good thing. In taking that big step to get out of my comfort zone, not hide, and GO to the group, I think I have opened the door to maybe making some good friends again. I hope so! Also, it will be nice to have a place to go, where everyone understands the challenges and frustrations of being a Mom, where we can talk and come up with good advice for each other.And I got to hold babies today. :) I don't want any more of my own, I'm done with that, but it's fun to hold and play with the little ones, to make them smile and laugh.
I'm glad I joined the group. And here's hoping I can get back into the swing of things and make some friends in my own age group, my own stage of life...maybe even make some REALLY good friends, in time. I hope, I hope, I hope.
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