The Agony and the Ecstacy

Things have been a little crazy lately.

It started about 8 weeks ago, when Daughter missed a step and fell on the stairs in our house. Her foot hurt, but she just walked it off. The next morning, while delivering papers, she tripped again, and this time was not able to walk it off.

This started a series of visits to the doctor. Very frustrating ones. She had wrapped her ankle in a tensor bandage, and hopped around with crutches for a few days with no results. The first visit to the doctor brought x-rays. Nothing showed up, so we were told nothing was broken, go home, rest for a week, all would be fine.

A week went by. No improvement could be seen. So we went back. We were referred to have an ultrasound done. They thought maybe it could be torn tendons. They searched all over her foot, causing great pain, then called the radiologist in to do his own scan. Another full foot search, more pain, Mommy is about ready to pick her daughter up like the Hulk and walk out. Nothing. No sign of tendon damage. They say maybe torn ligaments, but ultrasound won't pick that up. They write a report for the doctor, and send us home. We wait to hear back from the doctor for further referrals and testing.

One week. No calls. She is now not only in pain in the one foot, but the OTHER foot is beginning to have issues. We figure it is because of her being on the crutches, and compensating, overloading the second foot. We go back. We demand to be referred to a specialist. He tells us he already did. We tell him, no, we saw the ultrasound people, they found nothing, so we need something else. He says no, they found nothing, so there is nothing. I push, he supposedly writes a new referral, and waves us out the door with both of us practically in tears of pain, frustration, or both.

We wait almost a week. Nothing.

Then she collapses. The pain is so bad she cannot stand at all, let alone walk or use crutches. Hubby takes her to the ER where someone finally takes the time to try to get her some help. She is referred to an orthopedist, but it will be another week. So we get moving and find ourselves a used wheelchair....Daughter is 5'1"and just over 100 pounds. She is not a child I can carry around, and also she needs to be able to go to school, finish the school year, though her sports at that point became a dream of the past. Too bad...she had trained hard over the winter to be a pitcher in softball this spring.

A week goes by, we return to the hospital for our appointment with the orthopedist. He is very nice, and proceeds to move Daughter's feet every which way, making her squeal out in pain and nearly burst into tears. He announces there is nothing physically wrong with her feet, and refers us to a pediatrician who is on his rounds. So we are moved to a different room and wait an hour. The pediatrician comes in, checks her over, asks questions, checks areas that weren't even near her feet (he checked those, too, though), and asks if we had any history of rheumatoid arthritis in the family!

At that time, I couldn't think of anyone, so I said no, but when I got home, I discovered that yes, there was one relative I had overlooked...a cousin of my father who had it quite severely, in fact, and had begun having issues with it when she was 20, confining her permanently to a wheelchair, and cutting her life short from complications in her 40's. Not what I wanted to hear.

In any case, the pediatrician gave us a prescription to reduce the inflammation and called for a dozen or more blood tests to confirm, and likely to rule out a few things as well, so we wheeled her down to the lab where they drained her of all her blood (it sure felt like it...it was a very large sample they took, in any case). We have an appointment for follow-up next Monday. He was sounding pretty certain that his diagnosis is correct.

I am trying to remain positive for my daughter. I am not a patient person, however. I keep asking her how her feet are feeling (she has been on the meds for 6 days), and she says they still hurt A LOT. They hurt a LITTLE less than before. Not they feel great, not they feel a lot better, and she isn't getting back to normal like I want her to. She can stand for a few minutes now, and she can walk around the house for maybe 5-10 minutes, but then she sinks to the ground and crawls for the rest of the day (our house is not wheelchair accessible, so at home she crawls, in public she is in the chair, though that has not been so easy of an experience, either, as she explains in her blog, http://accessibilityadventures.blogspot.ca/

On Sunday, she showed her true grit. We had signed up, several months ago, for a 5km run, as we have done every year for the past 3 years. Obviously, she was not going to be able to run. But the brochure said wheelchair participants welcome. So she went. And she rolled. And she pushed herself in that chair as best she could. We did that 5k. When her arms couldn't do it anymore, she would put her hands in her lap, and I would take over and push, while jogging, for a few minutes, until she was ready to roll herself again. She worked HARD on that 5k, over cracked pavement, around potholes, up and down little inclines, over crooked streets that made her chair constantly drift towards the sidewalks. We made it to the finish line in 47 minutes and 33 seconds. And she was cheered in by every participant that had finished before we did. And she was the ONLY wheelchair participant that day. I was so proud of her. SHE was so proud of her!

I have to give her credit. She has been so strong through all of this. It has been so frustrating for her. She had to bow out of this year's softball season, halfway through. She is missing a 3-day camping trip with her class at school because it is not at all wheelchair accessible. She may have to miss her Girl Guide camp next week, if she doesn't see massive improvement. Her teacher made her stay at school while the rest got to go see a magician at the other school, instead of asking if I'd come and drive her (If I had known she was going to be left behind, BELIEVE ME, I would have been there to drive her!). It is harder to get around, go places, do things, and the worst part of all is that children are CRUEL. The number of kids at school who have accused her of faking this is unbelievable. She has had her wheelchair pushed into walls (with her in it) by boys, has been sneered at, has been told to "just get up and walk".

I hope with every fibre of my being that, not only will she have a fast recovery, but the other kids will realize that this is for real, and that if she could get up and walk, she WOULD.