For the past 6 months or so, I have watched my body fall apart in different ways, but none so scary as the one that started back then and hit its peak today. You see, I had lumps. One on the underside of my right upper arm, and one on my left side. Very sore ones at that. I thought briefly of having them checked out, but with my aversion to going to the doctor, decided I would not. In my experience, the second I walk in, my symptoms disappear like clouds and the doctor finds nothing wrong, most of the time.
So I left them. Sort of. I kept feeling them a lot, so couldn't really say if they were growing or not, kind of like you don't always notice how big your kids are getting or how long your hair is getting until it kind of hits you in a bang. I don't think they grew much, but at the same time, they did grow some....and then last night, quite by accident, I discovered I had acquired 3 more on my back. I had Hubby check them out, and he was quite concerned. Me being the worrier that I am, I was on the computer, researching what I could on lumps.
Today I waited for a chance to head off to the doctor alone...this was not the sort of conversation I wanted to scare my kids with, since, as I'm sure you can imagine, cancer was uppermost in my thoughts, especially with my family history. I wrote a few e-mails, asking for prayers and thoughts, called one friend, and when the time arose, I headed off after bursting into tears on hubby' shoulder. I was terrified of what I was going to find out, and Hubby was looking pretty scared, too.
Luckily for us both, the wait was no more than 5 minutes. And the consultation was maybe 5 more. He looked at them (easily, I might add, as Hubby had thoughtfully circled them with an orange Sharpie), felt them, then told me it was Lipoma, and he was going to send me for tests for my fat and cholesterol levels. I looked up the word when I got home, and discovered that Lipoma is basically benign fatty tumours. Better than cancer, but still not great news. I looked at the sheet I have to take to the lab tomorrow, and he is covering all his bases....I'm having tests done for my liver, kidneys, urine, blood, cholesterol....pretty much you-name-it. Which is good. This way I know that when the results are in, we will know for sure that he was correct, and that these suckers are benign.
I texted Hubby right away, and both of us were very relieved. Benign we can deal with.
Now I guess we have a very definite reason to be careful about how much fat we are eating, aside from the weight-loss and general health aspect. I have joined a lipoma forum, and we shall go from here.
And hey, it's not cancer.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
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