Sick and tired...

of being sick and tired. I have not been feeling well for about a month now. Up and down, between colds, coughs, general feeling green, aches, pains, exhaustion...some days are better than others. Today is not one of them. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I had cancer or something, because then I'd have a definite SOMETHING to blame it all on....but then I retract that thought because nobody REALLY wants cancer.
I think this is my version of a mid-life crisis. I have no energy, no motivation to do the stuff I need to be doing, no "oomph". I don't enjoy doing papers anymore, I don't want to cook, clean, eat, or do anything at all. I want to sleep forever, or at least for about 3 days straight, not have to worry about the kids, Husband, Dog, or cats, not have to do ANYTHING. Every muscle and joint in my body hurts. Emotionally I'm feeling a little tender, but that's also related in part to the feeling sick, sore, and tired.
But I don't get to take a day off. It's not in the job description of Mom/wife/homemaker/substitute paper carrier. If I don't do the job, the world crumbles. Kids don't get fed/dressed/off to school, house doesn't get cleaned, dishes don't get washed, laundry doesn't get done, animals don't get cared for, people don't get their papers on time and I get the complaints when I return to work, even though it was somebody else doing the papers on the day they are complaining about. And of course if I don't work, I don't get paid, and as Husband has made fairly clear, if I want a rust bucket to drive around in the spring, I have to work forever. If I don't get the rustbucket, I still have to work until April. I feel trapped.
On top of home life is everything else. It's like that song on "Oklahoma".....I'm just a girl who can't say no. I am the one who takes Dog to obedience class, I help lead the singing on Sundays every few weeks, which means a practice on Wednesday nights, then being at church 9:30 Sunday for a run through, getting out at 12:30 (at which point we have a quick-ish lunch and then drive Daughter to her chorus practice at 2) and having to be back again at 5:30 for the evening service which goes until about 8. If Husband is working, I have to get Daughter to Sparks one night a week. The kids have gymnastics once a week. I have chorus practice for 3 hours each week. I am on the Board, so that's another evening gone each month. I recently put together the programme for the upcoming show. I have been asked to help with Membership, I am going to be helping with the fitness challenge at chorus. I'm getting to the point where I wish I could just tell everyone, including my household, to just screw it, and then just walk away. But that wouldn't be very nice, now would it? Oh well. Maybe one of these days I'll snap and they'll put me in a mental hospital where I can get some rest. Insanity never sounded so good.