My five rules for naming a kid

A friend of mine posed a challenge....he listed 10 questions, had each person pick one, and they must write a blog on this topic.
My chosen topic is the 5 rules for naming a child.
1. It must not rhyme with the kid's last name. This is just cruel. It doesn't allow the child any dignity....I mean come on....Mara O'Hara.....you're just asking for a kid with a complex.This child will be teased forever. A friend of mine even had a name change after she got married, as she would have ended up as Suzanne Vann.
2. No cute, play on word, or just plain weird names. Again, where is the dignity. Dweezle Moon Unit....Candy Cane....Mary Christmas....Cookie Crumble...Soda Pop Johnston....nobody is going to take you seriously. Probably this is why I was not allowed to name Son as Christopher Robin Johnston. I thought it would be cute, and I like Winnie the Pooh....but of course Husband vetoed that right off the bat. *grin*
3. If at all possible do NOT name the child after a family member....a father, grandfather, great grandmother twice removed. NOT a good idea. This is how rompin', stompin' family feuds begin because no matter how hard you try to justify the choice, SOMEBODY is going to get offended, and then someone else gets offended at that person who originally got offended, and....well....you get the idea.
4. Don't make the name too long. Unless you plan to shorten the name, or allow the child to pick one and ignore the others, do not name your child William Alexander Timothy Franklin Toby Aloysius Johnston the Third. Even William Alexander is a bit long when you think of the poor kid trying to learn to write his name in Kindergarten. If you MUST do this, then allow your child to go by Will, Bill,or Alex at school.
5. Do not close your eyes, open a name book, waggle your finger in the air while fanning the pages, driving your finger down and naming your child whatever name comes up....you will end up with a boy named Theresa Engelbert Johnston, or a girl named Buddy Bertha Johnston....use the book, sure, but look at what you are doing....and make sure you have a name for both a girl AND a boy (or plurals if it's multiples), because even if you go ahead and "find out" what you're having.....the doctor could be wrong. It happens. Rarely, but it happens.
Good luck to all of you out there actually being in a position of having to choose a baby name. And congratulations.